Jealousy Blocks Blessings

When you overlook the blessings of others God will overlook you. When you turn your nose up at other people's relationships and accomplishments, He's turning His nose up at you having the audacity to expect Him to bless you in your jealous state. Your lips to tight to praise Him for another's gift and your hands clinched too tight to receive your own. And you wonder why people are getting blessed around you.

It's not about the person being blessed. It's bigger than that, and you so full of hate and jealousy, that you can't even see that it's about God, and that He gets the glory. God uses other people to bless you and test you, and to show you what He can and Will do. He uses other people to show you or provide positive examples of how you too can receive blessings, first by be thankful and acknowledging His Goodness regardless of the recipient.

So when you scroll by without acknowledging other people's blessings that is God's Way of judging you and whether your heart is in the right place to receive your own blessing, or mad about how He chooses to bless other people. He's fulfilling His promises right before your eyes, but because it's not you or you don't like a person, you can't even say Amen or Look at God...God is the only one allowed to be jealous, for He said "I am a jealous God"(Exodus 34:14; Deuteronomy 6:15), and He's God alone, meaning He does not need our help in the jealousy  department.

Moral of the story: Don't miss, overlook, or block your own blessing while you are rocking and watching with green-eyed envy and by scrolling past other people's blessings without acknowledging the will and work of God. Acknowledge Him and His work and He will direct your path into your own blessings...And there it is.. #gogetyourblessing #seeTheBlessingNotThePerson ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

On Racism

On Racism:

I'm reading a lot about racism, racist comments, kids of friends being called the N-Word, and being told their brown skin is not liked..... Much of the world's problems began as budding negative seeds taught to us as children......

Racism, discrimination, and hatred aren't born. Being racist is not determined by a skin color, but it's something that's taught. It's introduced and bred among a group of people that lack human compassion and lack the motivation to change the generations to follow.

On Being Called the N-Word:
I would rather be called black than to be called the N-word. But strangely enough there are people that are cool with being called the N-Word by their own, but dare to be called such, by someone outside their ethnic group. Why be in a group of friends of a variety of ethnic groups and it's OK for you to use the word but not your friends? I'm confused.

Between the ages of 1-5 is when a child learns and retains the most. There are children i know of 4 and under that have already discovered a word that is harmful and very offensive to many. Your kids learn from you and their surroundings. You should be mindful of the influence you have on your kids as well as others, and be mindful of the influences you expose them to whether it be to people, places, videos, or music. Instead of just exposing them to the word, if you must, teach them the negative connotation of the word as well. Better yet teach them the books of the Bible. I'd rather them call someone Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John than the N-Word. This is very disturbing and very upsetting to say the least... Racism and hatred will never end unless everyone do their part. Parent or not, teach these kids compassion and humility at an early age and I promise you'll see a changed society. Whoever those kids parents are, they were taught to call black people "N-Word" too, and their parents and grandparents and so on... So thus a generational curse that's still getting people hurt, discriminated against, and sometimes killed.... I can truly say that i have a multitude of friends of all races, creed, color, ethnic, and gender groups. I see them for how they treat me and treat others. If I had the slight inclination that any of them had a racist bone in their body, I would not stop socializing with them but they would definitely not be in my circle of who i call true friends.. I rather know a racist person don't like me than to pretend they do....When will it end. ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

Mental illness or Nah?

Truly evil exist and is among us. These days evil has many faces and many definitions. One would think that mental illness is the new evil, but is it really? Does everyone with evil intent suffer from a mental illness, disorder, or imbalance? I beg to differ. You can be the most sane person in the world and still be a pure evil soul and an even more evil person when you act on it. There are those with mental illness that would never harm a flee, and can't even fathom what being mean is. So to say all evil people have a mental illness is not fair to say.

On Bill Cosby

We will always be a  judgemental world that will personally convict others with or without supporting facts. We have become so magnanimous that it doesn't matter what others say, our minds are already made up as to whether we affirm or deny allegations and accusations. We are so suchy muchy that our own convictions of others trump the rights of God, and any chances that He may exist and really have the final say as the ultimate Judge. It's what we think or feel and that's that.

Because none of us were actually there or witnessed it we can only speculate and rely on what's reported and if on jury duty, be forced to decide guilt or innocence based on what's presented to us. The truth lies in Mr. Cosby (his truth) and the truth lies in the accusers (their truths). But whoever is right or wrong is not for me to say. But I'm sure there are lessons to be taught and learned from both. If Mr. Cosby did it, that's between him and his conscience and his God. But what he or RKelly or MJ has done does not make me appreciate the good they have offered and provided over the years any less. Yes wrong is wrong, if in fact they were actually wrong, but the wrong does not negate the fact that they've also done good to the world as well. We are so good at calling out the 20 wrongs of a person that we can't began to fathom how we should also give them credit for the 20 things they did right. The wrong smothers the right every time. I'm a different breed, perhaps, but I've learned to find the good in all bad things, people, and situations and keep it moving. Live and let live. And there it is... ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

Practice What You Preach

Great Day in the Morning My Friends! It's such a beautiful morning out! I'm feeling better this morning and almost back to my old self...... This morning I woke up with conviction on my mind. Not just for myself but for a lot of other people as well. I've been thinking about it since one of my pre-teen clients mentioned having big arguments with her mom about her choice of music....

Before condemning those that listen to R&B (R. Kelly, Trey Songz and the likes) and those that listen to Rap (Rick Ross, Lil Wayne and the likes) check yourself and your starting line up of shows you flood fb and other social media with like Scandal, Days of Our Lives, Y&R, Love and Hip Hop, Housewives of ATL, the Have and Have Nots,and How to get away with Murder. Whether it's a kid or a grown up, thoughts are triggered, manifested, and carried out through actions by seeing and hearing. Meaning, not only do we learn from what we hear but from what we see as well. You can't be a fan of Cyrus but teach your kids that being gay is wrong. You can't worship Olivia Pope's lifestyle, yet tell your kids sleeping with married men and outside their race is wrong. Maybe it's me. I'm not saying what you watch or listen to is right or wrong as I don't tend to judge. But I am saying Judge not unless thou be judged by the Most High. I do believe in age appropriateness and I do believe in a person's right to watch and listen to what they want. But I am not ok with pots calling kettles black at any rate. Stop looking down on or talking about others because their sin is not like yours. We all have a choice of picking our poison. One may choose listening while some may choose watching, and yet some may choose both. It's the content that matters and if Scandal and all the other shows have the same content as R. Kelly's "Keep it on the down low", guess what you're feeding your spirit the same thing.... Cheating with married people is ok and noone has to know.... At the end of the day it all excites lustful spirits. As a matter of fact the hot steamy sensual scenes from Scandal has had my wheels turning more than any Baby Making song the Kells have ever sang and I LOVE KELLS... well.... maybe... Hmmmmm maybe it's a tie now that I think about it... but that's neither here nor there... #iDigressed...#teamNoHypocrits #PracticeWhatYouPreachInsteadofJudging #itsTheSameThing

Learn when to let go

The truth of the matter:

Most women don't want a new man. They just want the old one and wish the old one would act right and man-up...

Unfortunately we can't live off of the wish creed, and eventually we have to learn that it does not matter how bad we wish or want someone to change, it will never happen if that person doesn't want to. It is at that point, that you have no choice but to move on or remain unhappy. If you're already hurting now why continue? Hurt now or hurt later but don't do both. Learn when to let go....
#FromAWoman'sPerspective ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

Square

Living a square life in a round world is a hard thing to do but somebody has to do it. It is not His desire for us to be of the World but in the World carving new shapes and patterns. If we continue to do things in the cookie cutter way we've always done, we will continue to get the same results in an ever changing world.... I dare you to think outside the box instead of conforming to the world and society's way.... Sometimes it pays to be square. #differentBreed #iAmL7

Stop hurting yourself:

Sometimes doing the best and right things in our interest are the hardest things to do. We might feel guilty at times because people sometimes get their feelings hurt based on our decisions to protect our own feelings that keep getting hurt by them. But in the end, if you think about it, if those people whose feelings you are forced to hurt, cared anything about you and your feelings, you wouldn't be in a position that warrants you hurting them in order to protect yourself. If it were not for their actions you wouldn't be in such a difficult position as to choose whether to hurt them or allow them to continue to hurt you. When people hurt you, they are giving you the OK to hurt them back, in so many words, and in return putting themselves in a position to get hurt.. Thus..You hit me and I'm going to hit you back. Maybe not immediately, but surely eventually... Remember hurt people hurt people...... It has to end somewhere... So why not start by refusing to hurt yourself, by stopping others from hurting you??? Get rid of those people that hurt you and ask God to remove the unnecessary guilt of doing so. You only did what you should have done quite naturally to protect you. #learningToCutToxicPeopleOff

Team Embrace Your Worth

Dr. Rock Ramsey,

Do you think that the reason so many women are single is because of their new found era of embracing their "worth"? Is embracing their worth and recognizing their worth preventing them from putting up with normal daily relationship woes... because "I know my worth and I don't have to put up with this?" Therefore, they are not giving a man a real chance?

Dr. Rock: AHmmmmmmm....My answer is YES and rightfully so, and that's how it should be. No woman should sacrifice how she should be or wants to be treated even if that means being single. What you put up with and what you allow will be the epitome of your life and relationship. Are there certain things that are manageable and that some women are able to put up with and look over and still maintain their worth..... YES! No man is perfect. Therefore, a woman needs to remain flexible but not broken to the point of putting up with foolishness. However, when a woman feels like there is certain behavior that she can't put up with because it's slowly damaging her physically, mentally, emotionally, or verbally then it's time to rethink whether it is beneficial to sacrifice her worth. Either they stay for the sake of being cuffed or they take the chance of being alone in order to open the door to the one that compliments her and add to her worth. I'll take being single over being unhappy any day...#TeamEmbraceSelfWorth And there it is...... ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

And BTW: This goes for men too. I do believe when a man realize his true worth he won't need this, that, and the third side chick to validate who he is or stitch up his bruised ego......oooops.. For every worthy man is 1 worthy woman... Believe that!!☺☺☺☺😘

What's so hard about it?

Is it so hard to believe that a Good Black Woman Still exist?
Is it so hard to believe that a virtuous woman can indeed have black skin and nappy hair?
Is it so hard to fathom a Black Woman who has been through trials and tribulations, but is still able to speak life into a man?
Is it so hard to believe that as independent as she may be there are certain things independence can't give her therefore she needs a real man?
A real man that understand the difference between her needing him and wanting him and how important both scenarios are. A real man that see her value as a real woman based on her own merits and not the transgressions of his past little girls.
Is it so hard to believe that some women are truthful and honest and have nothing to gain from lying to a man and nothing to lose from walking away if a man doesn't trust her anyway?
Why is it hard to believe, even if there are just a few, that good God-fearing women do exist and maybe it's your insecurities that make you think otherwise?
Why can't it be ok for a woman to be self sufficient and only need you for love, support, and companionship?
And why say that you want to provide for her, and want her to need and depend on you, but put stipulations on the needs you will provide or she can ask for?
Why bother a real woman if you know you're not a real man?
Why clump good women in the universal phrase "these hoe's ain't loyal" when the attributes of a real woman and hoe's differ quite a bit and further more many men fit the attributes of a hoe as well?
Is it so hard to believe that most women want their own man, not to be shared and will honor the loyalty ten folds?
Why ask for something that you claim you want, but you can't handle?
Why ask her to have your back when you square off with her face-to-face yelling as if she's the enemy?
Real black women do exist but where are you real black men? The real black man that can actually see her worth and treat her as the priceless breed of woman she is? Show up, Stand up, Speak up, or Keep it Moving.. A real woman can be the woman a man needs, but can you at least be what a real woman wants? I real man.... Now Ponder that.... And there it is.... #ofaDifferentAndRareBreed #treatHerAsSuch #GradeAchoice #REALWOMANCERTIFIED ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

What Dont Kill You Makes You Stronger Aye?

I spoke to a former patient of mine today. She's a victim of domestic violence. She said something that bothered me. She said she's still being abused from time to time but things are better. I won't go in depth about the conversation but before the conversation ended she said.... Well he hasn't killed me so I guess I'm only getting stronger. I almost lost my cool at that point but I kept my cool needless to say.

My friends...Yes it's cliche... What don't kill you makes you stronger. But on the real, don't let trying to be stronger get you killed. Don't keep trying to get make-believe muscles and be stronger and end up dead in the process. It doesn't work like that. Know when enough is enough and be strong enough to walk away while you still have strength and blood in your veins to walk. Trying to flex and be stronger can kill you too. Find your strength another way...enduring domestic abuse is not it.......

Got Favor?

You cannot say you've never experienced the Favor of God if you are doing the same things, working the same jobs, and making the same amount of money you've been making for years and you are still prospering and getting the things you want as well as need. If you haven't realized it yet, it ain't about the money or your employers. The ability to maintain what you have and continue to increase the things you have on the same budget comes from Favor. No more and no less.... Bills continue to increase while your salary stays the same, yet, you are steady upgrading.... #itsIncreaseInFavorNotMoney ☺

Let's have church

Don't have time to go to church?

Ok let me help you out....
There's too much technology out there for you to miss out on the WORD!

Ok check it....Church Program

First..........Go to YouTube and pull up a devotional hymn* and play it.

Second.....When it finishes, say a quick prayer.

Third.........Find you another upbeat selection on YouTube.

Fourth.......Read your preferred Scripture.

Fifth...........Find you a slow Sermonic Hymn selection.

Sixth.........Go to TD Jakes website and pick you a podcast Sermon and if all else fails resort back to YouTube and find you a Sermon by one of your favorite Reverends, Pastors, or Bishops.

Seventh.......Find you an alter call song on YouTube.

Eighth..........Say the benediction and go on about your day.

*You can substitute personal solos at anytime....

Btw: You can have church anytime, anywhere, and anyway you like it. Tried and tested... MWiley approved...Now what's your excuse. ;-)

Don't Rush... #bepatient

Everybody wants to be "boo-ed up" or have a special man or woman in their life. But understand, everyone will not find true love, everyone will not get married, and everyone will not have kids and live happily ever after. No, I'm not saying it can't happen or won't happen, but if you look at the reality of the matter many people have died and gone to Heaven (and perhaps Hell) and never got married, had intimate relations, or had kids. However, don't let that startling fact scare you into entering a relationship that's not for you, that's not good to you, and is not a positive situation conducive to the kind of love life you're looking for. Rushing to be in unhealthy relationships for the sake of not being alone the rest of your life might not be a good idea in the grand scheme of things. I don't know about you, and call me scared or a wuss, but I'd rather embrace my singleness, my happiness, my freedom and my self-esteem than to sacrifice all of that for something I'm not ready for or am unsure of whether it's a good thing for me. These  relationships of this day and time have shown me and taught me that sometimes waiting and being selective can be a positive thing. I'm learning that being cuffed ain't all it's cracked up to be and can be very much overrated. Oh and yes I plan to get married and have (look up at the sky in a side eyed way).... Yes I plan to get married and if it's God's Will plan to have...plan to have.... Yeah that..... But, I'd rather be alone and happily embracing me, my goals, and my life than to share my life with the wrong person who could potentially be the author of my unhappiness and rob me of my goals and who I am..... Take your time, don't be anxious, and think about it long and hard my friends... Wait for it... Doing grow weiry in your waiting. And while you wait ask God to send you who HE has for you and prepare you for them as well, also knowing that you may remain on the shelf for a while, and maybe even for good, because you are priceless and too worthy to be tampered with. Being untouchable does not mean being unlovable or not capable of loving. It simply means,,that's the role God gave you in HIS script of Life. ;-) Anyway.... All I'm trying to say is take love slowly (in my KC and JoJo voice)☺😊😁😀 #dontrushIt And there it is.. ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Get Qualified

Well.. it's been a super long day for me. It's after midnight here my friends so have a great night. But remember, that very thing you tell yourself you can't do.. Guess what? You can. If you try and are told you don't qualify, take that as your opportunity to recognize the gap or your own deficiency, and do what it takes to qualify. Example, if you don't qualify for a job because you lack the proper writing skills, that's your cue to go take a writing class so next time you apply that won't be your weak area. How bad you want something determines your level of effort you put in it. Lack of effort diminishes your ability and chances to achieve and succeed. You are your own worst enemy... Not your so-called haters..I hate to hear when a teenager or adult say "I've applied and they won't give me a job".. Find out why "they" won't. It might really be you that's the problem. If so, fix YOUR problem.. Face it, we don't qualify for half the jobs we apply for, but unless you have divine favor you need to invest in you and get qualified... Take a class, go to a seminar, anything. But don't remain unqualified and lose your hopes and dreams.... Good night bookworms and tweethearts...And there it is...

Men Take Notes

What Women Like in A Man

1). Good Hygiene. Women are into smells.. if you smell bad or your breath smells you need to handle that at all times. You can be the ugliest guy in the world but if you smell good and your breath is fresh you get major points off the bat.

2). Dress accordingly. If you are on a date.. no gym shorts and nike slides please. You don't have to be Sean John or Polo from head to toe but clean up a bit.

3). Be able to hold a good conversation that doesn't always surround what you have and what you have done. Talk about what inspires you and your future goals to better yourself.

4). Show her that chilvary is not dead and not just a first date thing. Open doors, etc.

5). Don't lie about your current situation, job, relationship, or responsibilities. Be honest so she can make an informed decision about you and if there is a need for a second date.

Why they stay

Memoirs of a Cheated on Woman.

If you've ever wondered why a woman stayed or stays with a cheating man or vice versa, let me holla at you: (some may agree and some may not)

Yeah she may love you and all of that, but trust me, no woman love a cheating man that much. It's deeper than that. The "let me show you all the ways I can love you and how much I love you" now becomes a part of the game and maximizes the superficial love they thought they once had. Understand me when I say that love after infidelity is not the same love as before it.... The plot thickens and the motives have been tampered with. It becomes a personal ego and power trip thing to prove to themselves that they are not losers and to now regain their self-esteem.. Some may not want to agree or accept this but it's true. How many times have you heard a woman say I hate or can't stand a liar or a cheater? If you've lied to her or have cheated on her.... Guess what? She probably can't stand you Sir and don't trust you further than she can see you. (Or she mis-spoke and actually meant she hates the act of a cheater but not the cheater themselves) And you actually think it's all about you after that... Nahhh..Taking a cheater back is a false mental sign to a woman that says "yes I won"... but for chronic cheaters that's only temporary. Once a cheater always a cheater? Perhaps but that's another subject... After being lied to or cheated on, Her mental state is good but slightly altered at this point. It doesn't have anything to do with you after a certain point. It's bigger and deeper. Their mindset and agenda changes when their emotions are in a wounded state. Don't get it twisted. It's not that the cheater's love was so great. Or that the woman has such low self esteem and can't find anyone else... Oh no.. It's just that our self pride is so much greater and we will do just about anything to stake our claim on what we deem as ours. The pride is So great that it will make us overlook some things that ultimately hurts us, just so we can say we still have pull or a dog in the fight. Just as men are competitors, so are we. You are not just going to wrong us and not care or experience recourse. The determination to stay in the fight to save face and clot tugs just as hard at our psyche as it does in a dog fight. A woman's worth is not predicated on the situation they are going through but how they fair in the end. It isn't until that woman realize that her true worth is not in what she will endure or take from a cheating man, but in her strength to say no more and realize that she deserve better than trying to prove her worth. At that point she evolves from proving her worth to herself and others and starts knowing her worth within. We get so busy at trying to prove our worth than knowing our worth and lose the battle and make fools of ourselves. Not only do we lose ourselves but we lose the fight that we never should have engaged in to start with. When it's all said and done if you are lucky, then and only then will the cheater see your worth, but at the end of the day all that you went through to prove your self worth may all just be in vain. So no, it's not that the sex was so good, or he took such good care of you, or even that you thought he was going to be your husband/ man sent from Heaven. As a matter of fact, when it's over you might even realize you didn't even like him to begin with... It was you all along not knowing your worth but trying to prove your worth when it wasn't even necessary. Of course she isn't better than you or look better than you or even better than you in bed... It was just that common denominator (the cheater) between the two of you that took advantage of two women that didn't know their worth but who were hell bent on proving they were worthier than the other. When you know better you do better. It may take a while to realize that you don't have to compete or prove yourself to anyone but when that moment comes you will be a fierce force to reckon with.... You can never prove you are worthy to be "the one and only" to a cheater or to the one they are cheating with. That's a lost cause..recognize that. And when you recognize that the conflict you are having is your own self determination within to prove something to yourself, you will be able to blow the whistle and throw in the towel so you can find better, feel better, and live better. Holding on to a relationship full of cheating is dangerous, hurtful, and it prevents you from moving on with confidence and knowing your worth. Before any one else recognizes your worth you should already know it and trust me, knowing so will prevent future foolishness from lasting once it's brought to your attention... Been there, done that.. This is my teaching moment based on experience.... Learn now, less suffering later.. I'm not telling you what I heard in telling you what I know... And there it is. This is my story and I'm sticking to it...
..#knowyoubeforeyouDoYou

My Dream

http://www.ebonygrainz.com/home.html

And There It Is...

Thank God For Favor

Great Morning World! Waking up Thanking God for Favor. I'm not picking on people, but a lot of you should be doing the same. When we look around and compare what we have (even if it's not much), to the tithes and couple of dollars we put in the offering for God, if the truth be told we should come up short on blessings. But thank God for FAVOR. He's doing a Favor for us by continuing to bless us inspite of our no dollars or "a couple" of dollars here and there that we give Him. Don't think that it was our "pocket change" that bought everything we have. Much of it, better yet... all of it, was FAVOR! He's not homeless and He didn't ask for "spare change", He asked for tithes and offerings.......... And even if you don't have to give, praises going up opens the doors to FAVOR! If I had 10 thousand tongues I couldn't Thank Him enough for His Favor in My Life! #FAVORED  #HappyWednesday

Take a Bow

Good morning my friends! Here is what's on my mind and then I have to get busy.

Know when to close the Curtains:

As we all know, every relationship has it's problems, issues, and shortcomings. However, if you make that relationship struggle your life, your social media, your home, and your world, guess what, there is no escape. You become your own issue. At a certain point and time you not only exhaust yourself, but you exhaust your audience that you share the same issues with day in and day out. There is a time and a season for everything under the sun. Some people's time and season last longer than others and I get that. But I also understand that we can control certain things as we go through our seasons. Grief HURTS, losing someone HURTS, being lied to and cheated on HURTS, being done wrong HURTS. So why continue to wallow in that hurt by reliving it every waking moment and every written post of your life. We claim that God's got it, but if the truth be told HE will never have it if you continue to give it life. Why would HE waste time erasing the pain when as soon as the eraser hits the paper you are adding more writing after the period... If it's over, let it be over. If they hurt you let it be. At some point you have to realize that your hurt is making you look just as stupid and just as bad and messy as the person that wronged you. You can't bury the hatchet and Give it to God if you leave the handle sticking up. Bury the whole thing and then confess with your mouth that HE is God all by Himself and believe in your heart that HE will take care of you. Jealous and angry outbursts and slick comments only shows the world your weakness and your pettiness. Grieve but don't grieve too long, cry but don't cry too long, be angry but don't be angry too long, hurt but don't hurt too long, struggle but don't struggle too long. Allow your season to come and go by putting it all in God's hands, not the world, not your boy or your girl, and definitely not on social media..... Christian people do Christian things at all times. If you slip OK cool, who are we to judge, but don't slip the same way next time. When you know better you do better. Get your control back and stop being the puppet on a string entertaining social media with your relationship problems. How about a round of applause and let the curtain close on that...... And there it is! ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~ #HappyFriday😊

The Ice Bucket Challenge

After researching clearly there is a difference between showering people to death and pouring a bucket of ice water on someone's head. People will find away to dehumanize any act of solidarity be it for a good cause or not. It bothers me how these overly historic people try to take a piece of history and apply to evolving times and a changing world. The world is so bent with mm negativity that you can rest assured that someone will find away to find the bad in the good. Running a cold shower over a convicts head for punishment is not a far cry but a pathetic cry when compared to pouring a bucket of ice water on someone's head.. and in this case it's not meant for punishing criminals... Go figure on this one. Close resemblance but different procedure and different cause.

Embrace the Sunlight

Some of us have been in the storm so long that when the rain finally stops we don't know how to embrace the sunlight... Don't ruin your sunny days by reflecting on the last storm and anticipating the next. Seasons change so embrace the change...Have a Great night My Friends! #cloudyWithAchanceOfSunshine

What's Really Happening?

People are getting the protest and march going on in Ferguson twisted. It is not just a black and white issue it's a justice issue. It just so happen to be that there is a lot of unjustified killings going on that involves Caucasian Americans killing African Americans. If an African American kills another African American there is justice, if an African American kills a Caucasian American, there's justice.. So why can't African Americans killed by Caucasian Americans get the same justice???? The protest is about injustice more than anything in my opinion.... I'm Marilyn Wiley and I approve my own message!!!

Where Change Begins

Society wants African Americans to "act right" and be "law abiding citizens" but then when they do, it's still not enough to keep them safe. If you provoke them, and they react...you kill them... If you provoke them and they don't react... You kill them...So now what Mr. Officer?..........You can't kill your Black President, so you kill the next best thing you can and get away with... THE BLACK MAN???

I am Black but I don't let race determine who I am or who I love. Because I love in a Godly way, I don't see color, I see people. Just as I watch the foolishness and racist acts of those killing our people, I've also watched kids of all colors, race, and creed be tormented bullied and abused. However, it's not the act of a nation, it's the act of the individual that chooses to take matters in their Own hands when they don't like or understand something. It was a great nation that elected the POTUS and past Presidents... The nation, though divided by opinion came together to do something in unison. But hatred is an individual thing that becomes a collective thing if enough people take part in it. It's not the nation that needs to change it's the individual that needs to change. Once that happens we will become 1 Great Nation under GOD and HIM alone. Then and only then will these unjustified killings of black people (men in particular) and all people end. ~Ms. Marilyn Wiley, MSPSYCH, Doctoral Candidate~

Before You Judge

Before I close my eyes there is one thing that I must say that I am in turmoil about... As inhumane as it may sound, and although I do not agree with it, I can see and understand why some people may say or view suicide as a selfish and cowardly act. Although it is not fair to judge a person on their tolerance and endurance for mental agony pain and suffering, it is explainable how those left behind may resort to their own selfish feelings and emotions and lash out in anger and out of hurt. They may say out of raw emotions that it was stupid, dumb, coward-like or the easy way out and may even compare their situation or situations to the person that couldn't hang on for dear life. We as humans are so quick to judge based on our own principles and morals and can't see passed the judgment factor when condemning others. So I understand both sides as I have to be objected in order to help and make sense of all involved parties and feelings. Just as we would say in a horror movie that a person was dumb or stupid because they went outside to check, that outburst was fueled by heightened excitement and emotion. The same thing happens when people die or hurt themselves. How many of us have jumped off of furniture or something and hurt ourselves and got yelled at or a spanking for getting hurt? Weird I know but true... Sympathy works both ways.. You have to sympathize with the lost and those left behind experiencing the lost. I'm sure during a flood of emotion there will be blame and there will be genuine condolences. People get mad when people die from drinking and driving (how could they be so stupid) but have known all along the person had a drinking problem. Same thing.. Alcoholism is a disease... which ultimately caused suicide in a sense.... Take that and put it with mental illness and it's a recipe for disaster.

So I wouldn't be so quick to condemn everyone that says the easy way out is cowardly. Although there are many heartless people among us some people are just overly hurt and pained and are lashing out emotionally. Know the difference if you plan to help. Find out if they are just being insensitive and malicious by saying it or if there is a deep rooted underlying issue that they haven't dealt with....

Stop Playing The Victim

Before I start my work let me drop this on you for the free....

Today is stop playing the victim day. Take responsibility for where you are in your life. All the things that have happened to you and will happen to you may not all be in your control but you control how you let it affect you.

Re-evaluate yourself.... Check out your timeline.. If everyday you are having a constant collage of pity party posts, chances are you are not a victim but an enabler.. you are enabling people to control or dictate your mood and behavior. Victims have no control from the onset but once they realize they've been hood-winked and bamboozled, it's at that point they decide to continue with the victimization or become a Victor over the circumstances.

As humans we look for the opportunity to blame because we are too weak and too coward- like to own up to the fact that we are responsible for our situation. It's time to learn from mistakes, choose friends wisely, and make better decisions that affect our lives. We put ourselves in positions and then cry victim when no one understands or wants to help. Stop it! It's not always about you and how others have wronged you... You did it to yourself 9 times out of 10.....

Don't get me wrong, there are victims among us but some of you need to get over it already and change you! When you change yourself, you will be amazed how your circumstances will change and how you will change from a self made victim to a self proclaimed Victor! Have a great Friday My Friends! And there it is.. ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

You can get passed this!

13 Things to Remember When Life Gets Rough

THE MIND UNLEASHED

on 26 July, 2014 at 19:32

We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are 13 things to remember when life gets rough:

1. What is, is. Buddha’s famous saying tells us: “It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering.” Think about that for a minute. It means that our suffering only occurs when we resist how things are. If you can change something, then take action! Change it! But if you can’t change it, then you have two choices: (1) either accept it and let go of the negativity, or (2) make yourself miserable by obsessing over it.

2. It’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem. Many times, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really dependent on perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it’s something you can learn from, then suddenly, it’s not a problem anymore.

3. If you want things to change, you need to start with changing yourself. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Don’t you know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful? And isn’t that largely because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is. We like to think that changing our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards—we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will change.

4. There is no such thing as failure—only learning opportunities. You should just wipe the word “failure” right out of your vocabulary. All great people who have ever achieved anything have “failed” over and over. In fact, I think it was Thomas Edison who said something like, “I did not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t work.” Take your so-called “failures” and learn something from them. Learn how to do it better next time.

5. If you don’t get something you want, it just means something better is coming. That’s hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Usually, when you look back at your life, you will be able to see why it was actually a good thing that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you didn’t get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to.

6. Appreciate the present moment. This moment will never come again. And there is always something precious about every moment. So don’t let it pass you by! Soon it will just be a memory. Even moments that don’t seem happy can be looked upon as something that you might miss someday. As the country song by Trace Adkins says, “You’re gonna miss this…you’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast….you may not know this now, but you’re gonna miss this…”

7. Let go of desire. Most people live with “attached mind.” What this means is that they attach themselves to a desire, and when they don’t get it, their emotions plummet into negativity. Instead, try to practice “detached mind.” That means that when you want something, you will still be happy whether you get it or not. Your emotions remain happy or neutral.

8. Understand and be grateful for your fears. Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fears can also make you feel victorious. For example, when I was in college, I feared public speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So I find it humorous now that not only do I speak in front of a group every day by being a college professor, I also teach public speaking! Overcoming fears just takes practice. Fear is really just an illusion. It’s optional.

9. Allow yourself to experience joy. Believe it or not, I know way too many people who don’t allow themselves to have fun. And they don’t even know how to be happy. Some people are actually addicted to their problems and the chaos in them so much that they wouldn’t even know who they are without them. So try to allow yourself to be happy! Even if it’s just for a small moment, it’s important to focus on joy, not your hardships.

10. Don’t compare yourself to other people. But if you do compare yourself, compare yourself with people who have it worse than you. Unemployed? Be grateful that you live in a country that gives unemployment compensation, because most people in the world live on less that $750 a year. So you don’t look like Angelina Jolie? Well, I bet there are more people who don’t than do. And you are probably way better looking than than you think. Focus on that.

11. You are not a victim. You need to get out of your own way. You are only a “victim” of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one “does” something to you. You are the creator of your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can get out of your hard times. You just need to start with changing your thoughts and actions. Abandon your victim mentality and become victorious. From victim to VICTOR!

12. Things can—and do—change. “And this too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think that there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will! Nothing is permanent except death. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They won’t. But you do need to take some sort of action for things to change. It won’t magically happen all on its own.

13. Anything is possible. Miracles happen every day. Really—they do. I wish I had enough space to write about all the miraculous things that have happened to people I know—from healing stage 4 cancer naturally to having their soul mate appear out of nowhere. Trust me: it happens all the time. You just need to believe it does. Once you do, you have won the battle.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University. She is also the host of ‘A Walk on the WOO Side’ radio show, a motivational expert on the TV show ‘Living Dayton,’ video expert for eHow.com, keynote speaker, and a member of Inspiyr.com’s Expert Network. You can subscribe to her blog, get some life/relationship coaching from her, and check out her books at www.drcarolmorgan.com.

Singing...*Tiiii-iii-ime is on our side.. Yes it is..... Or is it?

One thing is for certain as we all live and breathe, time controls us and it controls the world. Noone has the ability to stop it, noone tells it how long to continue or when to slow down. We can adjust it all we want, set it back, move it forward, just have at it. But at the end of the day no man can control time. Time rules the World and God rules both. He created time so that it waits for no man...He created Time to control and heal our hurt and pain. Time controls improvement and growth. We can be stuck in 1980 and missing out on evolving times, but time has not missed a beat...Tick Tock Tick Tock...Just as Time heals all wounds, Time waits for no man so you better catch up or get left in the past.  ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Be Bold With it!

Here's my bold statement/move:

I am a 40 years old BLACK WOMAN that loves God and wears Bathing Suits/Swimwear/Swimming Suits.... And if you don't like it, are offended by it, or have a problem with it your choice is easy.. Delete me and forever hold your peace..BTW: Yes I can actually swim too.. And there it is.. (Courtesy of RoseGal, JCPenneys, and Macy's)....#BOLDSTATEMENT #GROWNAMERICAN

#Relationship101

Ladies and gentlemen,

You should never stop doing those little things that you did in the beginning to make a person fall in love with you. If it stops then it wasn't genuine from the start. You just don't stop doing things that's genuinely apart of you or your character. If you genuinely like going to the movies, you are not going to stop because you saw a few bad movies are you?

Then why stop doing the little things because "he made me mad" or "she has an attitude" or "they've changed". Just like a mother's love, no matter what you do she keeps on loving and doing the little things, so should it be in love relationships. You still genuinely have sex with each other even though they are mad, got attitude, or have changed... So keep buying flowers, saying I love you, taking them on dates, cooking a meal, wearing lingerie, sending sweet good morning text or whatever the little things you did to make them fall in love in the first place.

If it was genuine you won't even have to remind them what those little things were/are that they do or did because it will occur naturally. 😊 ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Point Blank

True Story. ..

Black Women Wear Swimwear Too

What's wrong with black women in bathing suits?

Is it our own shameful and impure thoughts about the black woman and her body; is it our own insecurities or is it because we have been taught that showing off our bodies shapes and figures are being fast, hot, or promiscuous?

Black women have always been stigmatized and viewed as sex objects prostitutes, or strippers so it's hard to imagine that a black woman in a bathing suit actually really do want to take a swim or embrace her natural beauty.

It is a societal norm for other ethnic groups to wear swimwear with no second glance unless of course the semblance of Beau Derrick graces the eyes. But all shapes forms and fashions of other ethnic groups wear swimwear and we are ok with it. But after a little black girl approaches puberty, swimwear begins to be really frowned upon and discouraged. Why is that? Is the black woman not seen as a respectable model of beauty, have they been dehumanized as something that should be and should stay covered up, are they deemed as less of a dignified woman because they are showing skin? Are is it pure jealousy or lack of discipline on our part for not being able to control our selfish sexual desires that makes a black woman in swimwear "nasty" or "doing too much". Is it their fault because they are naturally beautiful and viewed as sex symbols due to past oppression and voluptuous curvature?  What? Black people love to talk about what's in the Bible. . Well what verse says that people are not to wear swimsuits? Or if you wear swimsuits YA GONNA DIE? Please show me. .

I think society needs to get their mind right and put the innocence back into every day hobbies such as enjoying swimming pools and beaches and put the confidence back in our black women to embrace their beauty and stop feeling inferior or less than par. Black women do not have to wear a tshirt and shorts to swim. That should be a choice, not something they are forced to do based on embarrassment and being judged and ridiculed.  Yes some may need to do it in moderation and tastefully, but don't make any woman, that's black, white, Hispanic, native, Asian or etc. feel ashamed of who they are or their body.

Now ladies, I am not saying to go out there and degrade yourself but I am saying be modest, tasteful, respectful, and embrace you and who you are. You know whether or not you need to wear a 2 piece, 1 piece, or either with a sarong or cover - up or not. You know whether or not to take a dip in spandex, shorts and a tshirt, or speedos. But the point I'm trying to make is that the choice is yours and don't let those sexually charged and judgemental people of this world make you feel shy, nasty, or like you are going to hell because you didn't cover up or simply wore a "nice tasteful" swimsuit. You can't control what people say or think. They will talk about you in your regular clothes too for that matter. So Black Woman be YOU.. Noone does it better. . ..That is All! #AndThereItIs ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Show me

I can't wait for the next Human to get into office as the POTUS... Don't get me wrong, I love President Obama and still support him. But I can't wait to see what miracle worker, that claim they are going to do so much better and make such a "huge difference", is going to do. Since everybody has the answer and have it all figured out I'm going to give them less than 4 years to show me something since they fought against everything Obama presented from day 1. I will not go on a political rant as most people do, but I will make it known if I feel the next person that takes office is not getting the job done. And I don't want to hear what a lousy hand they were given by Pres.Obama because it didn't seem to matter when he was given the same lousy hand. ...We shall see...#showmesomething ..#muchrespecttoyouall #butImgoneSayMyPiece #GrownAmerican #FreedomOfSpeech

Speak Life

Stop giving life and recognition to your troubles. Life and death are in the Power of your own tongue.

When we give our aches, pains,  woes and hardships more attention than they deserve they manifest. They manifest in our thoughts, our moods, our health,  and our attitudes and then began to manifest and control our daily lives that could ultimately last a lifetime.

Give those things their recognition and credit but speak to them in a way that let's them know who is really in control. Many people die from illnesses because they succumb to it and give it control while losing their ability or desire to fight. When you are in distress that's your bodies way of telling you, you are doing something that is out of line with developing healthy solutions. I'm speaking on my on behalf being a chronic migraine sufferer at times. I have learned what things and behaviors causes my migraines. I have not mastered it but I know when I'm out of line.

I give my hardships, shortcomings, disappointments, problems, aches, and pains their moment and say "Ok migraine I feel ya, I know you are there. But I have stuff to do so be through already. " Then I take the necessary steps to address it and if it's not debilitating, I keep it moving.

If I'm hungry..I eat
If I'm stressed. .I de-stress
If I'm not eating healthy. .I change my eating habits
If I feel tired. .I try to exercise if it's only walking
If I feel bloated. .I stop eating those things that I know pack on the lbs.
If I'm moody or upset. .I ask the Lord to change my attitude and I start to think of positive things.

Of course it doesn't always work but I definitely try and try again.
So stop coddling the bad stuff and giving our pains and sickness life.

Inhale the Good. ..
Exhale the Bad. .
Inhale the positive energy. .
Exhale the negative energy. .
Inhale the non-toxic. .
Exhale the toxic. .

The Power to Cut People Off

Great Morning My Friends and Happy Sunday!

I woke up this morning reflecting on last night and how something so minuscule could have went left and been a Huge Mistake. Thank God for the Power of cutting people off. I post this hoping that some of you will understand that power is not in arguing or going for bad, but Power comes with being in control and cutting things off, sometimes even people, in order to move to the next level of character building and reaching your goals and ultimate peaceful place. .

One of my friends (now distant friend) was out of line last night. Instead of being confrontational in public or confrontational at all, I simply made my point in a low-key non-argumentative manner and I decided I can't have her and her negativity around me. My little sister who is a very overprotective young cat, started out being the mediator, but soon began to see the other person as being disrespectful and not caring to listen and bring it down a bit (mind you Tessa is normally a "no talk/ will swing" kinda chick) was about to get in ol' girls business for disrespecting me but I told her it was cool and to let's go. After tugging her several times she obliged without further public attention.

It could have been bigger than what it was but I have an image and reputation to uphold and I can't do public attention and drama at all, as all my friends know. It wasn't a big thing, but as I get older I think more before I react and I have a lot to lose if I let that Alabama Wiley/Moneyham mix come out.

Nothing is worth sacrificing my goals I've worked so hard for, for so long. It could all be over with one strike, one fire, one arrest.... I am becoming a better judge of character and at a certain age there are just things you don't do and letting others rip your dreams right out of your hand or cause you to lose respect from the very people you are trying to teach the right way is so not a good move. I hate to remove people from my circle, but I now know those worthy of being in my circle and those who don't. I guess that comes with age. However, I'm sure there will be more along the way that will fall by the way side. I can't be getting in mess and drama under my code of ethics to be a doctor or get arrested and still maintain my job. Somethings are not worth it. If it has something to do with harming my family I might go for broke, especially after losing my mother, but pettiness doesn't move me anymore. So I have to be careful who I hang around and what I do and choose my battles wisely, but Tessa feels the need to take up for me and I can't have her in trouble because she has a lot to lose as well, (even though I now understand why she always feels the need to take up for me "Her MUCH OLDER BIG SISTER" lol) So to squash it all I've learned to cut people off even some of my closest friends that are messy and I keep it moving. Heartless no... But perhaps putting my best interest at heart. .. But I wish them no hurt, harm, or danger but I know we can't Co - exist and I keep my cool for too much longer.

Smokey told me not to let my degrees or status ever change me but know how to act and when to act. Although I've learned how to contain myself and think before acting, I'm still Mikey Wiley from Brantley underneath it all.  #byeFelicia because #datshItzAmanda

The Forest

The Forest

When walking along in the forest there will be many distractions along the way. Of course there will be beautiful greenery, scenery, and luscious trees shading the way and shadowing the path but did you know those very trees can be distractions? It's those trees (family, friends, enemies) in the forest that we actually grow dependent on and rely on for visuals, protection, rest stops, points of reference, and guidance. But if you rest too long, lose your way, or forget your focus and where you are going, are those trees really a benefit or a hindrance?

All trees do not bare good fruit and it is those trees that provide more "shade" than is needed along your journey. Some trees have a foundation filled with wild vines and roots that may entangle you and have your mind all wrapped up in things that take you off your beaten path. You have those bare and broken trees that have no leaves to help shade you, but you spend countless hours trying to rescue, feed, and water those trees that are slowly dying and taking your light and energy with them. You have those trees in the forest that as soon as the wind blows and the storm comes they blow over, break, dry up, and wither away. You see all of this can make you forget the reason you chose this forest and it's path and deter you from making it out of the forest and into your destiny.

Moral of the story: Don't let the trees in the forest distract you. Pick your shaded path and if that path takes you off of your road to success maybe you should consider the desert next time therfore your path is clear. It may be a long hot dusty lonely road but in the end your path will be clear and you will have peace, focus, and will reach your divine destination that's filled with real and genuinely fruitful trees that are rooted, firmly grounded and strong, that God intended to surround you for your good. Struggle produces results, especially when you learn that there's more paths and roads to success than through the scenic route of "The Forest". ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

Baller or Nah

Social Media Ballers or Nah:

Dear Ballers,

If you have highs and lows multiple times within a month but you only appear on social media during the highs. . You are really not balling or portraying your real life situation. Ballers do fall sometimes but not every other week. Real ballers have hustled and are able to maintain their baller status and if threatened to lose their status they have a constant hustle game that will ensure a constant gain and constant back up plan to maintain their "baller" status.

Quick come ups and even faster come downs do not constitute you being a baller. Hustling one minute and borrowing the next do not warrant baller status. Eating filet mignon and drinking Cristal on Friday and Saturday and looking for the nearest relative that hooked up Sunday dinner on Sunday and a Ramen noodle fix on Monday is NOT a "Ballers Mentality" or way of living. That's just a clear indicator that instead of balling you should be working and instead of turning up you should be saving up. Buy some stock, invest, tithe, get a bank account, buy a house, a car, get a bill in your name, clean your credit, start a business, for God's sakes own something before you ball til you fall....Geesh!

Know what it takes to be called a BALLER before you take on the name or mistake your situation as being worthy of a Baller's Status. . A ball is nothing without a batter, a thrower, a catcher, or a shooter.. Get your game tight my friend. You can't be or even qualify to be a Baller without all the baller requirements...That is All....AndThereItIs..#HeyBatterBatterSwing ..#datshItzAmanda

Protect Your Children

Just my Opinion: I think that a parent's main responsibilities are to take care of and protect their child. I'm childless but for the life of me I cannot see how a parent's every waking or even unconscious moment is not geared toward the well-being of their child, especially those that can't defend or look out for themselves rendering themselves as dependent on their mommy and daddy.

I have a pooch baby and I'm very over - protective and have even yelled at my Smokey for almost dropping her, thinking about sniping a cat for, and almost lost a friend for opening the door and letting her out. I think a kid would be even worse for me.

Brief interruption: Yeah I yelled at Smokey but I snapped back to reality and realized who i was talking to when he popped my forehead and asked "Who you think you talking to?" At the time I was 38 and still got smacked. .

Back to my story... People need to stop harming their kids and start protecting them, even if it means giving their own life as Jesus gave His for His children...

Face Tightening Saturday:

I never post racially motivated posts but this is bothering me and I'm speaking from personal experience and what I know. Yeah yeah I know some of you might get mad or even delete me and yadayadayada and I'm cool with that but some things need to be said and heard for character building.

Black folks will never get ahead until they learn how to handle their business, mind their own business, and make things such as stop lying, stop being jealous, stop being lazy, stop trying to get over, stop backstabbing and using people, stop blaming others for their failures, stop blaming and living in the past, stop looking for handouts, and stop living above their means, their business.

Disclaimer: This may apply to several other ethnic groups but I'm talking about my own. Deal with it or delete me are your choices....And there it is.. I am a Grown Black American and I approved this message.

LIVE!

Good Morning My Friends!! I am glad to wake up and see that all of you are still among the living. There are so many people that did not make it and there are several more that contemplated and attempted to end it all, but are still blessed to be here. At that very moment when you feel you can't go on, trust me, there are more people out there hoping, wishing, and needing you to be strong and make it. If not for you, make it for them. They are counting on you. Don't make a selfish decision that will affect so many people...I almost lost a patient last night at their own hand. After some motivational talk ( more like fussed) and called them selfish for a bit, things were OK. But never hesitate to reach out to someone. It can save your life #liveToFightAnotherDay

A valid question...

During a session an abuser asked me, at what point do the abused take responsibility....Weigh in bloggers... what's your thought?

Money Matters

Just my opinion:

When you are in a relationship, there should be no reason for one person to have to pull the majority of the weight financially, emotionally, or supportively speaking when there are two able bodies that can do so, unless you all have an "understanding" that that's cool with the both of you off the jump. However,  I do believe that there are some circumstances and situations where it is prematurely discussed and decided on who will be the bread winner and the home maker, but in this day and time things have shifted more to equal or dual responsibilities in the relationship. 

I can understand house husbands or housewives being an agreed upon thing, but when it is not agreed upon and one person starts to pull the weight unequivocally or unexpectedly, or one starts to slack, if your relationship is not strapped tight, this is a recipe for disaster.

In most cases, I agree that the men and women should both be able to split the responsibility and household bills, and that both should be self - sufficient to the point that if the relationship does not work, they should both be able to survive and maintain alone, but again that's my personal opinion.

I don't think that if two people are physically able to provide, that one, especially a man, should enter an engagement or "marriage" without being able to pull their weight or at least pay half of all household bills. Tradition has it that the man is supposed to be the provider, but reality proves that the number of women taking care of men, married or dating, far exceeds the number of men holding it down. And some people prefer romance over finances. But Kermit said that's none of my business.

But at any rate, before you commit, it is very important to have the "finances" conversation. No, I'm not saying exchange bank account info, or divulge how much you make, or get joint accounts. But I am saying to discuss your financial, emotional, sexual, religious, household, and supportive expectations up front and if it is not conducive to you and your lifestyle, discuss how to make it work or how to go your separate ways amicably. That is all! #knowYourLimits&Expectations ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Take Care of the Mind

We spend the majority of our time, whether awake or asleep, thinking. Even in our subconscious our minds are flooded with random thoughts. ¿ Make sure you take time to seek mental health and balance. Too many thoughts, especially negative ones are not healthy. Stinking thinking is not good. Think positive even during the worst of times.

Preach

Make them step up to the plate or don't eat. .

People Need To Mind There Own Business

On 1 (a little heated): These humans that always have something negative to say, must have forgotten that I'm a GROWN AMERICAN, LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST, GETTING EDUCATED, NO KIDS JUST A DIVA POOCH, SINGLE, AND PAYING MY OWN BILLS and doing a mighty FINE JOB OF IT! That ALONE, entitles me to do my own thing and make my own decisions. The Lord gave me a sound mind and the ability to make informed decisions whether I do at all times or not. But for the most part, I will tell you quickly that you can judge and give your opinions all you want but you will never be able to tell me what to do in this lifetime when it comes to my personal decisions. I will take advice, I am coachable and can be educated by anyone that is an educator, but you will not make my decisions for me.

You see some people need to get somewhere and get quiet and reflect on their own lives,  where they've been and where they are trying to get to. But while doing so, also ask yourself why or what happened that has you in the place you are right now. Maybe you'll see that minding other people business instead of your own, or trying to tell others what to do instead getting your own ship tight, has left you lacking and thinking you shouldvecouldvewouldve.

Stop counting other people's pockets, getting in other people's personal business and lifestyles, and giving your opinions where they are not needed, and start investing in you. What I eat don't make you poop as I always say. Stop thinking you are more than the next person because of your material things and material thinking. Clear example, you might drive a Benz but you don't own nothing, bankrupt, and your house in foreclosure and look like tornado remains. You might be dressed to kill but your kids look thrower away. Or better yet you have gained the whole world and success but are lonely and crazy as a bat in the sunlight.

Many of you can't even get any peace in your own life because you raise so much hell in other people's lives. My personal and professional advice to you would be and is: SIT DOWN AND REEVALUATE YOU! Your opinion is not needed on everything and you definitely don't have room to judge ANYONE..So touch your nose and stop scrolling to the left. WORK ON YOU. I GOT THIS RIGHT HERE! ! ....#AndThereItIs ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

I love You Momma!

Call it crazy but I call it missing my Momma...

I was in Walgreens the other day and I walked by this card that stood out. Mainly because it had a black woman on it that immediately reminded me of my Momma. So I stopped and read the card and ironically, it was a birthday card for a mother. I have not looked at birthday cards for a Mother since she passed, one because I purposely avoid them and two because it's painful.

However, I was drawn to this one particular card. As I read it I actually felt like I was saying it to her and felt as if she was still here with me and listening. Needless to say, I got emotional and even though she's not with me I bought the card anyway and will keep it in remembrance of her. I love you Momma and miss you so very much! There are so many things I would love to share and talk to you about.... :-( #inMyFeelings

What a Word

Ladies, Here’s How You Deal With A Man Who Has Trust Issues: RUN [As FAST As You Can]

By Lincoln Anthony Blades on 05/09/2012@lincolnablades

"This b*tch was on her gd*mn phone all Sunday but Imma find out who she creepin' wit!"

"B*tch! You f*^kin' a n^gg^ named Rev Jackie?! What kinda name is Rev for a n^gg^ anyways?!

Ohhh..it's your Reverend...my bad baby, love you!"

There’s a very large notable difference between dating a woman with trust issues and dating a man with trust issues: Typically, dating a woman with trust issues will lead to non-stop annoyance and frustration, constantly having to answer questions that you don’t want to and engage in arguments that aren’t even anger-worthy. It gets frustrating constantly having to reassure her you’re committed and equally frustrating having to always prove your character just because she dated a DOUCHE in the past who acted the d^mn fool.

But, typically, dealing with a man with trust issues is EXPONENTIALLY more dangerous to a woman’s mental, emotional and physical health. In our modern western society, there are three types of grown-ass adults you will run into on the dating scene: 1) The Trusting [unfortunately a very small percentage], (2) The Realist [a weird combination of pessimism and optimism] and (3) The insecure, distrusting Lunatic.

As much as we all would like to be in a relationship with The Trusting person who gives us all benefit of the doubt until we prove we don’t deserve it, the fact is many of us don’t deserve to date that person, because so many of us are NOT that person our d^mn selves.

But what you don’t want to do is confuse The Realist and The Lunatic, because they are very different in their own ways despite the few similarities. See, The Realist is the person who doesn’t overcommit in one way or the other, because they know and understand the reality of cheating, so they hope for the best but prepare for the worst. The Lunatic, on the other hand, is incredibly insane because they really feel like they can CONTROL the cheating from ever happening [where The Realist resigns themselves to the fact it can happen no matter what they do], but even worse, people with trust issues are severely unequipped with dealing with the mere IDEA that cheating is going on – and when MEN act like this to their women, they can be EXTREMELY VOLATILE.

So, ladies, do NOT try and put up with men with trust issues – just RUN – and here’s a few reasons WHY: When Dating A Man With Trust Issues, You Are ONE Step Away From Getting Your ASS Beat. Insecure men are not good at handling emotional pain and mental disappointment. When a man gets his heart broken by finding out HIS woman let another man slide between her thighs, it leaves him emotionally destroyed – and the worst part about being wrecked that way is there is NO real way to return the pain in-kind. These men become insecure and when YOUR happy ass comes strolling along full of sunshine, flowers and lollipops and lures his heart into the zone he thought he would never go again [LOVE] he will go CRAZY at the idea you may be cheating. And that pain and disrespect that he CANNOT return in-kind emotionally, will become something he will want to return PHYSICALLY with his wannabe Anderson Silva punk-ass. "I knew your bougie high-yella ass was triflin' as hell.."

When Dating A Man With Trust Issues, Understand He Is Not OVER or PAST His Ex. I wrote THIS article on this site a while back to explain how someone’s feeling for their ex can affect their current relationship EVEN if they no longer want to be with that person anymore. Ladies, a man with severe trust issues has NOT let go of his past and there’s not a DAMN thing you can do to help him. You can be as loyal and as faithful as you want, but he will ALWAYS feel like you are up to something. You can spend 23 hours in one day with him and spend 1 hour going to Shoppers Drug Mart or Walgreens to buy condoms for HIM to use on YOU, and he will STILL want to check your phone like “so….who keeps texting you?!”

When Dating A Man With Trust Issues, Accept That He’s PROBABLY Cheating On You RIGHT NOW. Here’s the funniest thing about dudes with trust issues and insecurities: Even though he has NOT caught you in the act, the mere fact that he has allowed crazy ideas of infidelity to infiltrate his mind has given him JUST CAUSE to go out and get NEW NANI. This is his method of self-defense for his potentially shattered-ego: ‘Show that b*tch that I can get some ratchet p*ssy too!’ In fact, here’s ANOTHER funny thing about dudes with trust issues: Some dudes who CONSTANTLY cheat on their women [regardless of whether they thought she was cheating or not] will start to not trust their girl simply because THEY are doing wrong sh*t. But the main take away from all of this boils down to one simple ideology: You can NOT change a man with trust issues no matter HOW “good” you act. Some men will eventually grow out of it and some won’t, but your best bet is waiting to see how he turns out – just NOT together. This Is Your Conscience.....

- See more at: http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/2012/05/ladies-heres-how-you-deal-with-a-man-who-has-trust-issues-run-as-fast-as-you-can/#sthash.52fLj

Interesting Read

The Economic Reason Casual Sex Is Occurring More Than Marriage

By Lincoln Anthony Blades on 06/20/2014@lincolnablades

About a week ago, I came across a video titled “The Economics of Sex,” which attempts to explain why more and more couples are getting married later on in life — if at all. To sum it up, the maker of the video, The Austin Institute, essentially attributes the rise in premarital sex to the decline of marriage. The argument is predicated on the notion that too many women are “giving it away” so quickly that it has decimated the necessity of a lifetime commitment. Then, there is a clever incorporation of the supply-and-demand economic theory that is used to explain why men can continually chase sex without commitment. In the end, The Austin Institutes’ point is that if women engaged in far less premarital sex, men would have to court longer and harder because our natural urge for sex would enable us to acquiesce to our woman’s demand to be married. Besides the fact that this sounds horrifically Orwellian, the truth is that this video has missed the mark in many ways. Forget “The Economics of Sex,” I think the maker of the video should have taken more time to investigate “The Economy of Marriage” – which is what I will do right now.

First off, let’s get something completely clear: Throughout history, marriage has always been a step predicated off a culture’s conceptualization of preparedness. In modern Western Society, that step has become defined by one’s ability not only to love and protect, but to financially provide security. The prevalent reality of the world we live in today is that the step towards “having your shit together” is taking far longer than it ever has at any other time in recent history. This means marriage is getting delayed because economic realities are demanding more from singles and couples than ever before, and that strain is real economics that this video is missing.

But instead of me rambling on, let’s take a trip down history lane and examine how a young man (like I once was), would deal with marriage in 1964 versus the reality in 2014.

To read the FULL ARTICLE, click the link: http://uptownmagazine.com/2014/06/economic-reason-casual-sex-occurring-marriage/

- See more at: http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/2014/06/the-economic-reason-casual-sex-is-occurring-more-than-marriage/#sthash.0GTQaMHu.dpuf

Why Pray Then Worry

When you REALLY know God and what He's capable of, you think about worrying but then change your negative mindset to a positive one.

When you really DON'T know God and are just pretending to know Him, you worry and let worrying change your positives into negatives.

BASICALLY: Happy people don't worry because they know Him. Unhappy people worry because they don't know Him. #WaitForIt #Deep ~ Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

Feeling Used?

People take advantage of those of us with a big heart. Most times it's those closest to you or that you think you know that use you the most. You just keep being kind and all those people that have and will wrong you will get what they deserve while you continue to prosper. Your blessing comes from how you treat others not from how they treat you.

Those that are taking you for granted are the ones that's losing. You are a blessing to know and just because people take you for granted does not mean you are losing. When you recognize your worth, those that use you will no longer be in your circle. Choose wisely who you go all out for but continue to be kind to everyone.

Arguing Is Ok

Relationship Advice:

It is ok and perfectly normal to have a healthy argument. Arguments are away to show your disapproval, your objection to something, and to rid yourself of budding and existing pinned up emotions and hostility. It is better out than in. When you hold negative emotions inside, eventually you will explode and say the wrong things and hurtful things you can't take back. However, when you do argue, understand that there is a healthy way to do it (in my Keith Sweat voice. .There's a right and a wrong way to fuss at somebody). OK I digressed, back to being serious. But lastly, stop thinking that because you had a HEALTHY argument that your relationships are over, be it a friendship, courtship (dating), marriage, or family relations. If the argument is healthy it only makes the relationship stronger and better. If an argument ruins your relationship either 1) it wasn't genuine from the start, 2) you don't know how to convey your point in a meaningful manner, 3) the one you are arguing with doesn't know how to convey their point in a meaningful manner, and 4) your relationship was already nearing it's demise prior to the argument anyway.......~Dr. Rock Ramsey~ #argumentsDontEndRealRelationships your actions do. 

Love Doesn't Hurt

Today in supervision Dr.Bayless asked the question. . If you date people or marry people in order to feel loved or be loved by them, then why do you hit them? Hitting or hurting people make them not care for you or love you. So aren't you defeating  the purpose? No one wants to be beat or hurt for love or even to prove they love you. #StopDomesticViolence

Yeah That

Marilyn Wiley (101) in a Nutshell ...
Wow. .I figured that to know me is the way to loving me. Take me as I Am. MUST share...#thisSumsMeUpPerfectly

A Complete Characteristics Profile of Scorpio Woman

Scorpio Woman

The beauty of a Scorpio woman is exceptional, mysterious and totally magnetic. She knows that and is proud of herself. She appears to be "forever young" well into her seasoned years. She will control her wish to dominate and will let a man lead in a relationship, atleast during courtship. She knows how to hypnotize a man and gets successful, more often than not. Don't expect a Scorpio female to rush into your arms in front of a thousand people and shout her feelings at the top of her voice. Instead, she will come close to you, glance at you in a sensual way and whisper the most romantic words in a seductive tone. 

If you are not sincere with your feelings, don't even try to get close to a Scorpio girl. With those beautiful, penetrating eyes of hers, she can read exactly what is on your mind. She can easily make out your real intentions, so Don't Flirt. It will amount to insulting her and I assure you, insulting her is not at all good for your health. Even when her tone is soothing, her disposition kind and her smile generous, she can be planning the most powerful retaliation. When a Scorpio woman is insulted or gets hurt, her fury knows no bounds. 

Then, she can become the most hard-hearted and most sarcastic person on this earth. If she loves with fierce devotion, she hates with devastating malice. If you are really in love with her, then you need to know more about her. She has a very hypnotic gaze and the moment her eyes meet your, you will go tumbling down in her deep passion. Being noticed by a Scorpio female definitely gives a boost to a man's ego. She needs a man who is stronger than she is and weakness in him won't get her sympathy at all. 

He will be expected to behave like a real man, who can dominate her and make her proud. At the same time, he should respect her individuality. He should be better looking than average, with an intellect, philosophical and totally masculine. He must also be ambitious and able to handle tough situation with poise. After she gets committed, a Scorpio female will shower you with all her love and attention. Her whole life will start revolving around you and she will be extremely loyal and exceedingly passionate. 

She is passionate with everything that is related to her. It is almost impossible for her to have neutral feelings. Either she will deeply cherish or fiercely hate. If any of the feelings are not experienced, she will become completely indifferent towards it. Scorpio women, however, never let these feelings show. Her expression will always remain neutral, betraying nothing. Her anger is very bad and it's better to get out of her way when it gets out of hand. Her characteristics profile will make her storehouse of secrets, but people wouldn't know any of hers.

Her personal life will be out of bounds for everyone. At the same time, she will never tell the secrets that have been confided in her, not even to you. Even with you, she will have a private part and its better not to pry. That does not mean she is dishonest. Infact, she will be so brutally honest that, at times, she may hurt people in the process. Like a typical Scorpio, she will choose her friends very carefully and the credible ones will remain with her throughout her life. She will never maintain a relationship with unworthy people. If so, only but for so long until she figures out how to distance you.

Determination and will power are her basic personality traits. She can use them anytime to comeout of anything that is negative. If you have been able to win the true love of a Scorpio female, you can be sure you will never feel lonely again. She will be totally devoted to you and even if you two don't get married for any reasons beyond your control, her love for you will not change. She is one of those who believe in the phrase 'Till Death Do Us Apart'. Rather than overshadowing her husband, she believes in supporting him.

'Behind every successful man, there is a woman'; this idiom is perfect in case of the husband who has a Scorpio wife. For her, the future, the happiness and the dreams of her husband hold the supreme importance. She will always defend him fiercely in public and won't take nicely to anyone taking advantage of him. She will always encourage him to reach for the stars, build his courage and never let him turn back from midway. Scorpio women love their homes and keep them spic and span. Her family values and religious beliefs are strong and like no other. She posses discernment and psychological abilities that aid in her helping others and confirmation of her own decision making. Some may say scary, but many find intriguingly amazing.

Now comes the dangerous part. A Scorpio girl is extremely jealous and fiercely possessive of her loved ones. She is prone to suspicions; so don't give reasons to be doubtful of you. On the other hand, you will have to control your jealousy, since she will be attracting a lot of members of the opposite sex. She also dislikes being possessed by anyone, including you. In such a scenario, just remember that a Scorpio woman will always be loyal and devoted to you, even in the worst of circumstances. However, she will defend herself and the ones she love to no end.

And then, you know you cannot leave her and it is better to adjust to such a trifle thing. Nobody walks away from a Scorpio, right? As far as money is concerned, she will enjoy it whether she saves it in a piggy bank or splurges it on luxurious things. She is very conscious of her social standards and will never compromise in case of status. She likes power and will sacrifice money and many other things for it. She seems to be very practical, but inside she is very emotional. Like all Scorpios, she will not see any viewpoint in case of her own emotions.

A Scorpio female has a sense of fairness and justice. She has no problem calling a spade a spade. If you don't wish her good morning one dayafter a fight, she will do the same for the next four days. The same goes for generosity also. If you do one kind deed for her, she will do four in return. As a mother, she will extremely possessive of her children and will care for them. However, she may not express her love openly and this is something you will have to teach her. She will make them independent, fair, strong and proud of themselves, the way she is of them. She will encourage them to develop their innate talents and make sure they don't go unnoticed. 

A Scorpio woman can drown you in her passion. But then, she can also bring you to safety when the raft becomes too dicey. She can provide you her calm and steady support in the worst of circumstances. Once you win her love, you will never be lonely again. Your food will be perfectly baked and she will grind fresh coffee for you. You will always come back to a spotless home, radiating with the aura of her magnetic personality, the charm of her deep beauty and the warmth of her everlasting love!

Know Thyself

What I learned about myself in church:

I'm good but I haven't always been in this way. So if I go broke I'll still be good because I have been there before and I dealt with it and survived. We get down when we are broke or fearing becoming broke. If You Are already broke you don't have to worry about going broke. Be good at being broke because those who are faithful over little He will make faithful over much. . . I am good with little and good with much and faithful for it because it all comes from the Lord!!

The Devil is a Liar

Devil I'm sorry but you can't have me and no we can't be friends. You get me in a lot of trouble and you can't get me out, nor do you try to. Yes, I understand you're not a lawyer in the court room but still. ....You try to keep me in a rut instead making a way for me. You are not a provider and I can't deal. ..I'm too much for you to handle, I have many wants and needs and basically you can't afford me, with your "no riches" having behind. . .You are not equipped to deal with me and my many emotional issues and physical illnesses and concerns. It's not like you are a doctor in the sick room or anything.  . And last but not least you don't have AC..I like hot weather but I like to be able to cool off when I get too hot. You don't really love or care for me and my well being so keep it moving please I don't have time for your trickery and foolery.. Not now.. Not EVER! #LooseMe ~Marilyn

Single Single Life

What being Single Means to Me:

Of 1 body, one soul, one mind. Stand alone, unique, solely one, alone, singular, just one. Doing things that only requires one decision, one choice, one consideration. No significant other. Do for oneself, being with one self, learning knowing loving living and providing for oneself. If you are going to continue to do single things it's probably best that you stay single.

No Grooming Necessary

STOP THE PRESS...I have heard it all so I'm going to put this out there for the free:

At my age I do not want a man that I have to train or groom into being, not only what I desire, but what he should already be by now. If he's my age he's lived long enough to know the do's and don'ts of a good relationship and how to be an established and well suited and situated man that has and can hold and handle his own. It does not look good for a man to be asking a woman for money, especially if they are not even together or down like that. Yes it's OK for a woman to help a man but for me there are requirements that must be met. You can determine your own requirements when it's your money. But anyway at some point you have to do something different to provide or make some changes to your comfort zone to live the lifestyle you want.(But that's another topic for later). If your momma, the streets, life experiences and past relationships didn't teach you how to be a man and the things a woman like and dislike, then clearly God has not prepared you for me, or either, you haven't asked me the right questions to know  or find out what I like. Maybe you need to stop inquiring about "what I'm doing and what I'm wearing", and ask more pertinent questions to help you learn and define my character, my wants, and my needs in a relationship and I'll oblige.

If you don't know how to open your mouth and communicate and ask questions that are important for you to know then stop right there, because you can't know my likes and dislikes based on trial and error only, because that trial and error may cost you the opportunity to get to know me better.

Adults are too old to be assuming and guessing things. My life and career is centered around picking people's brains and figuring out their thought process. . This is not what I want to do in my personal or intimate relationships when I final engage in one. If I ask a question just answer it. If you don't want me to know just say that.

I am single by choice because my tolerance for foolishness, people being inconsiderate, disrespectful,  and having a lack of regard for loyalty, trust, and monogamy in relationships, is at an all time low. People play games or use the fact that they didn't know something as an excuse for poor choices and stupid mistakes. We are all human and mistakes will happen but when you have the ability to prevent or correct a mistake and don't, you get.. nor do you deserve forgiveness or respect for that matter.

Life is what you make it. Relationships are what you make it. What you put in, you get out. What you get out should be as equal as the effort you put in.

I will not accept sub par behavior from anyone based on "I didn't know" or "they never tried". Just as other people's time is precious and valuable.. so is mine.  Just like other people want respect, so do I.

I will continue to be single and cool with it until the man that does not need to be coached on how to be a good man comes along sent via God himself. If you know you are not right and you know you are no good for me or anyone else, the best way to show you care is to walk away instead of trying to fumble innocent hearts.

For me, if you are not Godly marriage material don't block my view or my blessing. . That won't prosper me or you...As I pray for a mate suitable for me, I pray God makes me marriage material at its best. It's a two-way Street and effort on both parts.

NOW. .Will the real marriage material please stand up! And the game players take several stadiums full of seats. #WowReallyDude #AndStayOutMyInboxWithThatFoolishness #OnBlast

Scared Straight

Confession: I scared a kid to death. It was all with good intentions and I didn't lie to him. The key is to remain honest and be effective when trying to get a desired behavioral outcome.

Case and point....I told a 4yr old if he keeps using bad language and hitting others, something really really bad was going to happen. .(that was the truth)... The kid said he wasn't scared of any "really really" bad stuff happening to him. So I said "are you sure you're not afraid of nothing?" He said "walking dead people. I don't want to die because I don't want to be one of them"..I said "hmmmmm okay.. Well remember when I said something really really bad would happen if you don't stop saying bad words and hitting?"...He said "yeah what?" I said in a sad but matter of fact way. .. YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!.....He was TERRIFIED!!!

Welp needless to say. . He told his momma on me at the end of the session....oooooooo I'm in trouble...NOT

She looked at him very seriously and said yes she's right so what are you going to do so you don't die? He was so upset he didn't want to talk anymore and I didn't force him. But anyway, I told this story because mom called yesterday and said he hasn't used any bad words or been fighting, that she knows of, and he constantly reminds her that if you say bad words you're going to die...HAHAHA.....#SCORE...#ScaredStraightItellya

Sad but True

Taking a mental break. . Tired of scholarly writing but still thinking.

This goes for everyone, but African Americans especially... This might offend some of you but that's OK it won't kill you....

Anyway, we need to stop denying the fact that the so-called "nervous break downs", "troubled kids", and aunts and uncles in the back rooms that talk to themselves are really plagued with undiagnosed mental diseases and disorders. We are quick to call these individuals crazy, demon possessed, bad, dope-heads, and drug addicts instead of getting them help to determine whether they can be clinical diagnosed and treated. There is no need to perform an exorcism on a child or adult who is schizophrenic or have multiple personalities. You can't beat the bad out of a kid that is suffering from Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and you can't judge a drug addict for using drugs to deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for a tragic event that left them hopeless and Depressed.

However, we need to stop taking for granted that there is help out there for our mental health and well-being. Seeing a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist does not mean you are crazy, weak, or don't believe in God. It simply means you need a sounding board, a confident, a life coach that you can vent to and sort out your thoughts with. I have my own and I tell you it really beats telling all my problems to fb and humans who are going to judge me and spread all my business to the next listening ear. I love God and is a firm believer that HE will work everything out for my good, but I also take advantage of having an Earthly ear that will listen and give me feedback when needed and just listen when needed. Two heads are better than one when it comes to sorting out all the things going on in one's head. .

Stop hiding our people with mental issues and stop thinking mental treatment makes you weak. Suicide rates are lowest among African Americans, and even lower among African American Women of all ethnic and gender groups, but it is still on the rise. With as many resources that are available it should be declining instead....#MyThoughts #StillWriting #ForTheFree ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~