WELCOME TO ROCK BOTTOM revised

Welcome to Rock Bottom

I know a lot of people that live very charmed lives, where nothing ever seems to go wrong for them. There was a time when I envied those people. I don’t anymore. They never get to experience the storms of life, never had to face their fears. These storms make us better. They’re our chance for a do over. It’s our reset button, where everything is stripped from us and we are completely gutted. I know because it has happened to me. In an instant everything was gone – I had nothing and no one and I was paralyzed with fear.

However, “the beauty of rock bottom is that it’s a place of reflection, of where you can actually hear what your spirit has been trying to tell you, but you were too preoccupied with your life to listen. There is nowhere to go at rock bottom but up and it’s here where you create the path out. It’s here, when we get to map out the plan for the life we should have been living all along. It's here where we finally notice our wings and start to fly.  It’s here, where we get to start again.”

Rock bottom is a magical place and if you’re lucky, you’ll have a chance to visit.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s terrifying, but the most incredible things happen and you won’t be the same person coming out that you were going in. Rock Bottom is where you can clearly hear from God and reconnect to Him and your Faith.

Here’s a list of what happens at Rock Bottom:

You are forced to face everything that frightens you about yourself and your life and you get to figure out how to overcome it. You are forced to look inward and to discover who you are. When you have lived your whole life for other people and then suddenly find yourself with no one else to focus on, you learn for the first time how to be your own friend, what you like, what you want and what you need. You find your true self.  It's where you finally stop and reconnect to your spirit and start becoming your authentic self. You stop living under someone else’s thumb and find out what it’s like to be in charge of your own life. You find your power and that which is indestructible in you. It’s where you stop being an ordinary person and become the warrior. You get to reprogram your mind and learn all that you should have been taught as a child. You learn how to depend on yourself, because there is no one else to take care of you and you get a taste of how sweet autonomy is. You learn how to deal with your emotions and your grief. You heal the wounded child inside. You learn how to create and maintain your own stability.

You learn how to cut people, and things that do not have your back or best interest at heart, off. Those people that you stuck your neck out for and went above and beyond for that took you for granted suddenly appears to you as the selfish and heartless people that they really are. You finally are free to clearly see the people that genuinely cares for you. It's called Freedom. You start to look ahead and plan your future and goals.You choose who you let into your inner circle. You start again.

“There is a profound stillness at rock bottom. It’s very quiet and there is no one around to distract you. It’s a place where you are completely alone with nothing but your thoughts for companionship.”

Rock Bottom is the ending and the beginning of the old life and the new. At Rock Bottom all of the choices are yours. It’s your opportunity to start over and to get it right. Resist the urge to give up on life, or to lose faith. It’s easy to do, I know. Rock Bottom is not for the faint of heart. If you get to go there it’s because you are strong enough to bear it and because the Universe has better things in store for you.

I didn’t see it then, but what had happened to me, I’m convinced, was divine intervention. I was existing in a loveless relationship, in an unfulfilling job, living an inauthentic life, which I was never willingly going to leave and so the Universe did what a loving Universe does –  it shoved me out of my uncomfortable comfort zone and it put me through a divine detox.

So if you are at Rock Bottom or have been there, take the time to reflect and see what has truly happened from the proper perspective. Tell yourself that "this was a divine cleanse, meant to make me healthier, meant to clear out all the baggage and cobwebs that cluttered my mind and put me on the right path. Afterwards I will notice that I have new eyes to see with, a new appreciation for what really matters and I will have found me– the greatest gift of all."

#Rock Bottom #TakingTheGoodFromThePerceivedBad #MyTestimonyInAnutshell #DeepRead

Excerpts taken from and all credits given to Esteemology's "The Majesty of Rock Bottom: The Universe’s Ultimate Cleanse"

Some People

What I've learned about some people Some people will always have something to say, most times negative. Some people will always be unhappy, no matter what. Some people will always try to steal your joy, because they don't have any. Some people will always try to demean your kind gestures, no matter how good your intentions are. Some people will always be unappreciative and ungrateful. Some people will never be consistent, loyal, or dependable. Some people will always find the bad in things instead of the obvious good. Some people will never live up to their potential, and get mad when you live up to yours. Some people will always take things the wrong way because they are waiting for an excuse to go off. Some people will never change, regardless of the ever so changing world and views. Some people are not happy in the skin they are in so they pretend. Some people carry so much resentment and anger and are beyond helping. Some people will target you, as the one to release their anger on for no apparent reason. Some people would rather see you miserable because it makes you equal to them. Some people will always pass judgment on you. Some people will despitefully use you. Some people will always lie to you because it's easier than telling the truth. Some people will always see the bad in you, instead of the good. Some people will make mistakes and not try to fix them. Some people do not know how to forgive. Some people are meant to be de-friended. Some people can't handle the truth. Some people, no matter how beautiful, can be ugly on the inside. Some people will always be rude, mean, and nasty to you regardless of how nice you are. Some people will never love the way you love. Some people love to see others hurt because they are hurting inside. Some people are in denial about one thing or another. Ask yourself, are you some people?

Encouraging Suicide via texting

What I'm thinking:

I am not able to wrap my psyche around the idea of children coaching other kids to commit suicide via text and social media while claiming they love them.  Bullying incident.. Maybe...

I know there is a strong influence there, with love being involved, but where do you draw the line between listening to a person that claims they love you, and what you are willing to do to prove your love for them. I wouldn't dare do this but if we are going to do it we are going to do it together. #sametime #sidebyside not via text, social media, or over the phone.

Parents teach your kids about suicide but at the same time teach them about love and how true love doesn't require you to hurt yourself for the other person ... #Romeo&JulietWasAPlay but still they died together.  #JustMythoughts

Learn how to fight

What I've learned:

In every relationship there will be arguments and fights. But how you end the fight dictates the future of that relationship and how long it will last. Every time you have an ineffective argument or one that involves personal attacks and name calling, it takes a little bit from the relationship each time, and tears the other person down. Who wants to remain in a relationship that tears them down, more than lifts them up? More than likely NOBODY!!

So with that being said, learn how to argue effectively if you must argue and if you haven't mastered effective communication then maybe you shouldn't engage. Not knowing how to talk to people or how to respect people even in an argument, only leads to bigger problems and possibly lost relationships...#CheckYourself #BeforeYouWreckYourself

No Disrespect

What's on the Doc's mind:

You know, it really bothers me when black men start dating outside their race and then decide they want to bad mouth black women. As quiet as it's kept, I myself have dated outside of my race a time or two, but at no point and time did I, then or will I now, talk bad about, disrespect, or degrade black men.

See I have a problem with people that feel that just because you choose outside of your race that you have to talk bad about another to validate your choice or preference. When I dated outside of my race, I didn't have to validate or justify my choice by saying negative things about black men or how they've treated me in the past or any of their shortcomings at being "the one" for me.  Personally, I don't discriminate in love and considers myself an equal-opportunity lover. If you know how to act, appreciates my worth, and treat me as such, then you have just as much of an opportunity as the next man regardless of race and ethnicity. Many people miss " the one" by limiting themselves and their options.  I believe that love is transparent. Just like when you love the wrong person and you tell yourself and everyone else that you can't help who you love, the same applies to loving a person of a different color. Many of you won't agree and I'm ok with that. I don't post for validation or the likes, but to say what's on my mind. But anyway, all the reasons I've been hearing lately as to why black men choose to date outside of their race are bogus especially if it is predicated on what the black woman is or is not. You should be dating that person because you truly love them and your heart is in it. Not because your attempt at dating black women failed. Ask yourself what did YOU DO or DIDN'T DO while dating that black woman. What was your role??? Hmmm hmmm?? Anyway, those same generalizations you place on black women applies to every race, gender, and ethnic group. I can vouch for that.... I've seen it, assessed it, and diagnosed it...So to you that said that black women have an f'd up mentality... Guess what? Several People of different races and creeds, including yourself sir, have a f'd mentality, that's nothing new and certainly not a rarity. It's almost like the norm these days... Now how you feel about that? #RantOver

And there it is...... ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Don't Do it

The more I work, the longer I live, and the more I interact with humans, I continue to learn. Some things I've always known, but sometimes may need a reminder. Other things I pick up on as I go...

However, what I've learned:

You shouldn't be digging a ditch for someone when you're standing in a shallow grave yourself.... #PAUSE #LetThatMarinate

Killer access

The biggest enemy of a recovering addict is accessibility. The more access, or probability of access, to the thing you are addicted to, the greater the temptation and the desire to get it. Remove the ability and accessibility, cure the addict. Kill the access, kill the addiction... Until then. . .#MyThoughts #InMyPerfectWorld

Closed For The Holidays

Doc's Annual Black Friday Public Service Announcement

Face-tightening Moment but all in love and respect.. The foolery has begun 😐

Entering the Stage from Right....At center stage, grabs and taps the mic....clears throat..mic check 🗣HuuhNationn, HuuhNation (sibling insider)

Speaks....First Giving Honor to God, the Bishop, the Presiding Elder (aka Zinella), the WMS, the YPD, the Pastor, Saints, Members, and Friends.

In the church announcements today, Sis Dr. Wiley would like to provide a friendly reminder that the wrongly perceived "Wiley Bank & Trust" is Closed per the lending manager. All loan apps, "let me hold something* apps, and "can I get a favor" apps will be DENIED during the Holidays, and perhaps year around, due to a serious violation of the Prompt Payment clause of the agreement. You can thank those that have previously instated their own clause of "No or Slow" Payment, unbeknownst to me. Christmas, Birthdays, and the first day of school comes at the same time each year giving you adequate time to plan for each of these life events accordingly. Tis is not the season to be asking for money when others want and need their money to buy and give to their families, friends, and loved ones. And even though they may have it to give, you should not be counting people's pockets. If you must borrow, go to a real bank.

The Bank Manager has decided to let you be accountable for your money, your time, and your actions and learn how to be responsible with money, plan for things, and utilize your time effectively. The said bank is tired of getting burnt financially while trying to genuinely help "undeserving" people, both friends and family and also those I don't consider to be either. Not all are undeserving. There are those I will help in a heartbeat, no questions asked, and I'm sure they all know who they are.

So, should there be any loans or apps ever in the future, for consideration, they will all be subject to a credit check, a background check, and a signing of a promissory note. Most lenders do it, so why can't I? Since people think I'm a bank let's proceed like one. All business, nothing personal. My mom use to say if you give it don't expect it back. This is true in a personal sense, but not a business sense.

So, if you just started reaching out to me by phone, text, Facebook inbox, Instagram, or Twitter since Nov. 1 the answer is NO so don't bother. You are the same ones that forfeited on your promise to pay and cut off all contact after New Year's. I didn't forget, I'm busy and about a lot of things but forgetting how I was treated isn't one. You mad or Nah.. it's OK.

And there it is... Cold, hard truth but somebody has to say it... Sorry Not Sorry. Now let the church say Amen.

Drops the mic🎤...exits the stage to the left✌🏾

#lessonslearned #getMoney #HustleHard #NotSelfish #NotStingy  #JustNotEnablingAnymore #AdvancedNotice #TheRealest #KeepingIt100 #iAintGotItq

Making The Season Bright

My Attempt At Making The Season Bright:

Many of you might not remember my post last week asking the Lord for some "other people money". Which is money to bless other people. Well my reason for that is this for example, I talked to a divorced single Mom and her three kids the other day. During the conversation I asked if they were ready for Christmas. They all stopped and started looking at each other with this "caught off guard" look about them. So, Mom who has fallen on some really hard times over the last two years, began to explain how they were not prepared and planning on celebrating Christmas this year. She explained recently being diagnosed with Cancer, having no job, and needing to make sure she had enough money for rent. She said all they've been through and have been dealing with, have caused them to decide not to celebrate at all this year. I felt like I had mud on my face but "talkative" me asked, " So are you guys at least going to cook Christmas dinner." And Mom explained, that they would eat, but not sure what they were going to have, but she knows it won't be anything big. It was at that moment I guess my facial expression let off to the sadness that quickly changed my smile to a serious look.

At that moment, the little boy said, It's OK Ms. Marilyn, I'm sad too, but I'm use to it. This is the second year in a row we won't have Christmas. We don't even have a tree but I know if my Momma could get us one she would." At this point Mom began to cry. I felt soooo bad. I gave her a hug and I told her that Christmas was not about gifts, food, and trees and that it was about family, love, warmth, and celebrating Jesus. (All along in my head saying to myself.. This can't be and I won't let it be.. Not on my watch.) Mom agreed with me and said, she's glad she has understanding children, and that they don't try to make her feel bad about it, and knows that if things could be different she would do all she could for them. All the kids began to tell her not to cry and that it was OK and Christmas doesn't matter. Me, feeling bad for even bringing it up.

Well to make a long story short, tomorrow I'm giving them a Christmas Tree, with lights, and ornaments to decorate it with, and a $75 Fry's Grocery Gift Card to get food so they can have Christmas Dinner. On the day we talked, I also gave them an open invitation to share in the Holidays at my house with me and my family on Christmas Day.

I didn't tell all of you this for any accolades or likes, but I want this show of love to move you guys to do the same thing or some  similar small act of kindness during the holidays because you never know when it could be you in need.

#SmallActsOfKindness #ChristmasIsCaring #ShareTheLoveShareTheJoy

Because i got tired

I got tired of waiting for you to hurt me again, so I had to hurt myself by leaving....

I got tired of waiting for you to love me, so I loved myself by leaving you...

In Due Time

Healing will come in due time. Take this time to reflect and give every emotion it's moment and don't rush it. It's when we try to force a feeling out or usher one in that we misjudge things and second guess ourselves.

Not My Normal

What I've learned:

If you are not careful, people will swoop you up and draw you into to their twisted world and way of living, that they call normal, and have you calling that very dysfunctional way of life your own normal... Know when the situation is toxic, unfulfilling, and undesirable and when it's time to get out and reestablish your own norms. There's nothing more dissatisfying than realizing you've been unhappy and miserable, because you accepted someone else's dysfunctional way of life as your own. Being sucked into a certain way of life that's not conducive to you, is a mishandling of your own truths and a disservice to your own growth. Shut it down and move on.. #HardToDoButWorthIt #ItTakesTime #MakeItYourGoal

Half @$$

Living in a half @$$ world, with a bunch of half @$$ people, with half @$$ ideas, putting forth half @$$ efforts....smh...what must a woman do to get something "WHOLE" in this lifetime?????? Geeesh!! #makeithappenonyourown

The Lack Thereof

Lack of response
Lack of attention
Lack of acknowledgement
And lack of compassion makes for a dying thing whether it's life, relationships, friendships, or goals. So Queens, respond to life's challenges, pay attention to the way you treat others, acknowledge others, and show compassion even when it may not benefit you.

Picture Perfect

When you wake up each morning understand that it's your canvas and your paint. The only person that gets credit for your daily artwork is you. Make it picture perfect and make it come alive. ~Dr. Marilyn Wiley~ #akaDrRockRamsey