Why they stay

Memoirs of a Cheated on Woman.

If you've ever wondered why a woman stayed or stays with a cheating man or vice versa, let me holla at you: (some may agree and some may not)

Yeah she may love you and all of that, but trust me, no woman love a cheating man that much. It's deeper than that. The "let me show you all the ways I can love you and how much I love you" now becomes a part of the game and maximizes the superficial love they thought they once had. Understand me when I say that love after infidelity is not the same love as before it.... The plot thickens and the motives have been tampered with. It becomes a personal ego and power trip thing to prove to themselves that they are not losers and to now regain their self-esteem.. Some may not want to agree or accept this but it's true. How many times have you heard a woman say I hate or can't stand a liar or a cheater? If you've lied to her or have cheated on her.... Guess what? She probably can't stand you Sir and don't trust you further than she can see you. (Or she mis-spoke and actually meant she hates the act of a cheater but not the cheater themselves) And you actually think it's all about you after that... Nahhh..Taking a cheater back is a false mental sign to a woman that says "yes I won"... but for chronic cheaters that's only temporary. Once a cheater always a cheater? Perhaps but that's another subject... After being lied to or cheated on, Her mental state is good but slightly altered at this point. It doesn't have anything to do with you after a certain point. It's bigger and deeper. Their mindset and agenda changes when their emotions are in a wounded state. Don't get it twisted. It's not that the cheater's love was so great. Or that the woman has such low self esteem and can't find anyone else... Oh no.. It's just that our self pride is so much greater and we will do just about anything to stake our claim on what we deem as ours. The pride is So great that it will make us overlook some things that ultimately hurts us, just so we can say we still have pull or a dog in the fight. Just as men are competitors, so are we. You are not just going to wrong us and not care or experience recourse. The determination to stay in the fight to save face and clot tugs just as hard at our psyche as it does in a dog fight. A woman's worth is not predicated on the situation they are going through but how they fair in the end. It isn't until that woman realize that her true worth is not in what she will endure or take from a cheating man, but in her strength to say no more and realize that she deserve better than trying to prove her worth. At that point she evolves from proving her worth to herself and others and starts knowing her worth within. We get so busy at trying to prove our worth than knowing our worth and lose the battle and make fools of ourselves. Not only do we lose ourselves but we lose the fight that we never should have engaged in to start with. When it's all said and done if you are lucky, then and only then will the cheater see your worth, but at the end of the day all that you went through to prove your self worth may all just be in vain. So no, it's not that the sex was so good, or he took such good care of you, or even that you thought he was going to be your husband/ man sent from Heaven. As a matter of fact, when it's over you might even realize you didn't even like him to begin with... It was you all along not knowing your worth but trying to prove your worth when it wasn't even necessary. Of course she isn't better than you or look better than you or even better than you in bed... It was just that common denominator (the cheater) between the two of you that took advantage of two women that didn't know their worth but who were hell bent on proving they were worthier than the other. When you know better you do better. It may take a while to realize that you don't have to compete or prove yourself to anyone but when that moment comes you will be a fierce force to reckon with.... You can never prove you are worthy to be "the one and only" to a cheater or to the one they are cheating with. That's a lost cause..recognize that. And when you recognize that the conflict you are having is your own self determination within to prove something to yourself, you will be able to blow the whistle and throw in the towel so you can find better, feel better, and live better. Holding on to a relationship full of cheating is dangerous, hurtful, and it prevents you from moving on with confidence and knowing your worth. Before any one else recognizes your worth you should already know it and trust me, knowing so will prevent future foolishness from lasting once it's brought to your attention... Been there, done that.. This is my teaching moment based on experience.... Learn now, less suffering later.. I'm not telling you what I heard in telling you what I know... And there it is. This is my story and I'm sticking to it...
..#knowyoubeforeyouDoYou