Take Love Slowly

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To catch the eye of a killer

In My Feelings:

To catch the eye of a killer..

I've always known that Monsters do exist. There are many people that I knew back then as a child, and even know as an adult, that have a hard time believing in monsters. But I do, and I know that they eat, breathe, and sleep just as I do, day in and day out. Some work, some don't, some are males and some are females. Some have kids, some don't. But at the end of the day, the fact remains that they are here and exists among us daily.

It has been my mission to come face to face, or catch the eye of a particular Monster/Killer and I did just that today. But at no point and time did this Monster scare me, he basically just disgusted me as I knew he would. To watch this evil boogie man sit a few feet in front of me and act so smug and unmoved or bothered by his evil acts and deeds, that has caused so much pain, was not only disheartening, but unbelievable. This monster did not look the part, thus lending to the fact that looks can be very deceiving. Though I tried to keep a steady gaze at all participating parties in the courtroom, I found that my gaze would wonder right back to the monster, and if looks could kill he was already casket sharp.

A part of me wanted to see nervousness, anxiety, or any semblance of guilt, sadness, shame, or even a wishful tear to show that he was human or has some type of emotions, but "notta". He just sat there like "can we get this over with already". A part of me wanted to ask him if he really understood what he has done, and the hurt he has caused so many, but of course, I couldn't. A part of me wanted to tell him only a third of the family's emotions that I witnessed first hand. A part of me wanted to shake him and say "don't you get it, don't you even care" and yet another part of me wanted to say "WHAT THE F' WERE YOU THINKING". The psychologist in me wanted to know what made him do such a thing, what was his childhood like, and how could he mentally go through with trying to cover up such a heinous crime...So as one can imagine, there were several parts of me at work today.

But the drive home after court, after seeing crime scene photos again, and actually matching the ungodly work to a real face, provided me a moment to reflect. It put what I've always known to be true, into perspective. Monsters do exist, they are real, and they lurk among us without a care in this world other than selfish gratification. I am a firm believer that there is a special place for Monsters, and walking among us is not it, but who am I to judge... The Lord didn't give me a Heaven or Hell to put people in or the right to judge, nor did He give me the kind of heart that disregards human life that he created and gave freedom of choice to. But if HE would have and if I could put aside my conscience.. boy look-a-here... There would be one less Monster walking among us and one more Monster keeping the flames of Hell burning Crispy HOT right about now, along with a whole lot more of them that's wasting tax payers money. I always straddle the fence on whether I believe in the death penalty but that's because I believe that there are many innocent people that have unjustly lost their lives to the death penalty and that there are some people on death row that are actually innocent, but the question comes with what if the person unmistakably did the crime.......

When I caught the eye of this killer and looked down at his hands, I couldn't think about anything but how those hands took someone's life and caused so much pain and those eyes seemed blind, uncaring, and oblivious to it all.....
#Justice4AngelaRusso

Experiencing The Unknown

"When you have everything like good health, a happy family life,  a good relationship with God, money and wealth, and great success, and it still doesn't take away the complacent feeling of loneliness, sadness, boredom, and monotony on the inside and there's nothing else to achieve, no more goals, or things to look forward to, what's next? What's wrong with finding out if there is peace and joy and maybe an adventure on the other side of life? Is that so bad that a person wants to try their last resort in hopes that the next life or other side is better? The only way to know the unknown is to experience it." ~An Anonymous Patient~

You talk too much

What I've learned:

Some people talk so much that they end up talking themselves out of a good thing. Sometimes we need to get somewhere and get quiet. Everything does not warrant a response or feedback.

Moral of the story: Never miss a great opportunity to shut the h*** up and be quiet. #silenceISgolden

Surface Joy

What I've learned:

"That Surface Joy"

Many of us suffer from "Surface Joy" aka "That SJ" as I like to call it. And if I had to define the term diagnosticly, it would be "that joy and happiness that you portray outwardly or on the surface that doesn't actually exist within or on the inside". But because it is so much easier to lie than tell the truth, we sometimes allow Surface Joy to stand in for our shattered and disturbed insides. Because people don't, or won't understand the hurt, heartache, disappointment, and sadness we experience within and because those emotions don't have a face and if they did it would probably be ugly, it's much easier to keep a pretty face and portray a happy lifestyle and keep up that Surface Joy appearance. But ask yourself, ultimately is that the true answer and cure that will give light to the dark and broken areas on the inside??? Hmmmm.. My guess is that in the end the ugly emotions will take over and win the battle because we didn't have enough courage to ask for help or call on other sources to help us fight those ugly demons.

See much of depression (which I rather call "the blues" or "being in a funk") is a mental thing of us thinking the worst of a situation and not being able to change those distorted thoughts. And because the situation is bad, seems to never improve, or it seems to continue to get worse, we tell ourselves that there is no way out. We begin to fight with our own thoughts and beliefs and become trapped in our thoughts, more so than we try to fight to address the issues that are plaguing us, or better yet, we are too mentally drained to even try to find possible solutions.

It doesn't matter how many coping skills we acquire or have if we are too caught up in our funk to put them into motion. It is at that moment we need to be able to love ourselves enough to reach out to others for strength and help. There have been many times that I felt so down, (YES ME, I'm not exempt) that I've told my sisters that I didn't even want to pray anymore because I felt God was not listening and if He was, He either does not care or He's intentionally punishing me. But because I reached out, not expecting them to take my hurt and disappointment away, but just to get it up and out and "off my chest", it opened the door and lines of communication for them to say, "Well if you are tired of praying, I'll stand in the gap and pray for you." It also opened the doors and lines of communication for them to checked on me daily, encourage me often, and it helped foster an even stronger bond between us and a needed sense of someone caring.

I too have, at times, pretended to be ok when I wasn't, and felt I had to always bury my true feelings or deal with them myself. There are times I still deal with pressures, hurts, and life struggles, but I've learned to let things have its moment, but then it's time to shake it off and get up! It's not that easy for some and I get that my blues may not be like yours, but when our inner strength starts to fail us, our self-awareness has to, and should, kick in telling us to get help or find a family member or friend. We talk ourselves out of reaching out to others for fear of bothering people, but if it will save your life, BOTHER ME! That's what I'm here for. We all go through our moments, but the best humbling pie, is to be able to hear and help someone else while you're going through it. A very rewarding thing😊

Don't suffer alone. Turn that Surface Joy into Genuine Joy from within. Happy Sunday My Friends! ~Dr. Marilyn Wiley~ #LoveYouSomeYouAndLive #That'llPreach #AndThereItIs #DrRockRamseyInTheBuilding

He Gives Us Tools

From the desk of Dr. Marilyn Wiley, aka Dr. Rock Ramsey:

#ItsSunday #That'llPreachRightThereKindOfMoment

My People,

Just as we go to the Lord In Prayer, He certainly hears us and answers us.  However, most of the time it's not via miracles that He answers us. (Yes, I do believe in miracles, I'm not saying that I don't, buuutt.....)  He hears and acknowledges us by providing us tools and instructions to help overcome our situations. Although He will give us the tools, He will also leave it up to us to use those tools. We must use those God-given tools, in Faith accordingly, to put our plans and prayers in motion. Faith without works is Dead (James 2:14-26). Faith is the substance of those things HOPED for.

God knows how much we want our prayers answered based upon the level of effort we put into our prayers, our faith, and our belief in Him answering. However, but he also answers us by the level of effort we put into helping ourselves. We are such a lazy and entitled breed of people that we feel a "quick come up" is or should be the answer. We live for immediate gratification. Therefore, we fail to hear God or abide by the work ethics given and needed to get the "quick come up". Just spoiled I guess (my $.02)

But anyway, while we are waiting to see the tangible,  He's already answered us in an intangible way. We must open up and receive it at some point and stop looking for things to miraculously fall into our laps. We have to be open for understanding, recognizing,  and knowing that He fully equips us for the battle, but we need to get quiet and look for the obvious. He gives us answers but many times they are overlooked. We are so caught up that we don't even recognize the help when He sends it.

With all thy getting, He instructs us to get knowledge and understanding. "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." Proverbs 4:7 King James Version (KJV) Meaning to understand that He will supply and provide what we need, when we need it.

I said all of this to say, God uses people to counsel others by using their voice to relay His message and help those in distress. People, especially my AfAm people, do not believe or engage in counseling and therapy at times because they believe in taking everything to God In Prayer.  But I'm a firm believer that He answers some of those prayers by giving us the tools and means to seek help during our times of need. However, it's up to us to tap into it, My Friends......#AndThereItIs

Manifested

Sometimes what goes on in your life, goes on inside your body.

Dealing with hurt, sadness, and depression manifest as physical pain, weight loss, or weight gain.

Dealing with confusion, frustration, and worry manifest as anxiety and being mentally off balanced and upset bowels.

Positive vibes and attitudes radiates positive energy and blood flow and increase metabolism.

Healthy eating and exercise foster a healthy mind and body.

And the list goes on

Refinery

My struggles and challenges are God's way of refining me for that which is yet to come.. which is "Greater!". Although I'm being sifted like wheat and being refined like coal, the refinement is a reminder that our latter days will be greater than our former days... It is His will that we prosper and be of good health. Therefore, I pray that His will be done among all of us...Hang on in there. God is faithful to His word..#TrustingTheProcess #aDiamondInTheFire