Surface Joy

What I've learned:

"That Surface Joy"

Many of us suffer from "Surface Joy" aka "That SJ" as I like to call it. And if I had to define the term diagnosticly, it would be "that joy and happiness that you portray outwardly or on the surface that doesn't actually exist within or on the inside". But because it is so much easier to lie than tell the truth, we sometimes allow Surface Joy to stand in for our shattered and disturbed insides. Because people don't, or won't understand the hurt, heartache, disappointment, and sadness we experience within and because those emotions don't have a face and if they did it would probably be ugly, it's much easier to keep a pretty face and portray a happy lifestyle and keep up that Surface Joy appearance. But ask yourself, ultimately is that the true answer and cure that will give light to the dark and broken areas on the inside??? Hmmmm.. My guess is that in the end the ugly emotions will take over and win the battle because we didn't have enough courage to ask for help or call on other sources to help us fight those ugly demons.

See much of depression (which I rather call "the blues" or "being in a funk") is a mental thing of us thinking the worst of a situation and not being able to change those distorted thoughts. And because the situation is bad, seems to never improve, or it seems to continue to get worse, we tell ourselves that there is no way out. We begin to fight with our own thoughts and beliefs and become trapped in our thoughts, more so than we try to fight to address the issues that are plaguing us, or better yet, we are too mentally drained to even try to find possible solutions.

It doesn't matter how many coping skills we acquire or have if we are too caught up in our funk to put them into motion. It is at that moment we need to be able to love ourselves enough to reach out to others for strength and help. There have been many times that I felt so down, (YES ME, I'm not exempt) that I've told my sisters that I didn't even want to pray anymore because I felt God was not listening and if He was, He either does not care or He's intentionally punishing me. But because I reached out, not expecting them to take my hurt and disappointment away, but just to get it up and out and "off my chest", it opened the door and lines of communication for them to say, "Well if you are tired of praying, I'll stand in the gap and pray for you." It also opened the doors and lines of communication for them to checked on me daily, encourage me often, and it helped foster an even stronger bond between us and a needed sense of someone caring.

I too have, at times, pretended to be ok when I wasn't, and felt I had to always bury my true feelings or deal with them myself. There are times I still deal with pressures, hurts, and life struggles, but I've learned to let things have its moment, but then it's time to shake it off and get up! It's not that easy for some and I get that my blues may not be like yours, but when our inner strength starts to fail us, our self-awareness has to, and should, kick in telling us to get help or find a family member or friend. We talk ourselves out of reaching out to others for fear of bothering people, but if it will save your life, BOTHER ME! That's what I'm here for. We all go through our moments, but the best humbling pie, is to be able to hear and help someone else while you're going through it. A very rewarding thing😊

Don't suffer alone. Turn that Surface Joy into Genuine Joy from within. Happy Sunday My Friends! ~Dr. Marilyn Wiley~ #LoveYouSomeYouAndLive #That'llPreach #AndThereItIs #DrRockRamseyInTheBuilding