You can get passed this!

13 Things to Remember When Life Gets Rough

THE MIND UNLEASHED

on 26 July, 2014 at 19:32

We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are 13 things to remember when life gets rough:

1. What is, is. Buddha’s famous saying tells us: “It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering.” Think about that for a minute. It means that our suffering only occurs when we resist how things are. If you can change something, then take action! Change it! But if you can’t change it, then you have two choices: (1) either accept it and let go of the negativity, or (2) make yourself miserable by obsessing over it.

2. It’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem. Many times, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really dependent on perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it’s something you can learn from, then suddenly, it’s not a problem anymore.

3. If you want things to change, you need to start with changing yourself. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Don’t you know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful? And isn’t that largely because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is. We like to think that changing our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards—we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will change.

4. There is no such thing as failure—only learning opportunities. You should just wipe the word “failure” right out of your vocabulary. All great people who have ever achieved anything have “failed” over and over. In fact, I think it was Thomas Edison who said something like, “I did not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t work.” Take your so-called “failures” and learn something from them. Learn how to do it better next time.

5. If you don’t get something you want, it just means something better is coming. That’s hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Usually, when you look back at your life, you will be able to see why it was actually a good thing that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you didn’t get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to.

6. Appreciate the present moment. This moment will never come again. And there is always something precious about every moment. So don’t let it pass you by! Soon it will just be a memory. Even moments that don’t seem happy can be looked upon as something that you might miss someday. As the country song by Trace Adkins says, “You’re gonna miss this…you’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast….you may not know this now, but you’re gonna miss this…”

7. Let go of desire. Most people live with “attached mind.” What this means is that they attach themselves to a desire, and when they don’t get it, their emotions plummet into negativity. Instead, try to practice “detached mind.” That means that when you want something, you will still be happy whether you get it or not. Your emotions remain happy or neutral.

8. Understand and be grateful for your fears. Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fears can also make you feel victorious. For example, when I was in college, I feared public speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So I find it humorous now that not only do I speak in front of a group every day by being a college professor, I also teach public speaking! Overcoming fears just takes practice. Fear is really just an illusion. It’s optional.

9. Allow yourself to experience joy. Believe it or not, I know way too many people who don’t allow themselves to have fun. And they don’t even know how to be happy. Some people are actually addicted to their problems and the chaos in them so much that they wouldn’t even know who they are without them. So try to allow yourself to be happy! Even if it’s just for a small moment, it’s important to focus on joy, not your hardships.

10. Don’t compare yourself to other people. But if you do compare yourself, compare yourself with people who have it worse than you. Unemployed? Be grateful that you live in a country that gives unemployment compensation, because most people in the world live on less that $750 a year. So you don’t look like Angelina Jolie? Well, I bet there are more people who don’t than do. And you are probably way better looking than than you think. Focus on that.

11. You are not a victim. You need to get out of your own way. You are only a “victim” of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one “does” something to you. You are the creator of your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can get out of your hard times. You just need to start with changing your thoughts and actions. Abandon your victim mentality and become victorious. From victim to VICTOR!

12. Things can—and do—change. “And this too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think that there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will! Nothing is permanent except death. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They won’t. But you do need to take some sort of action for things to change. It won’t magically happen all on its own.

13. Anything is possible. Miracles happen every day. Really—they do. I wish I had enough space to write about all the miraculous things that have happened to people I know—from healing stage 4 cancer naturally to having their soul mate appear out of nowhere. Trust me: it happens all the time. You just need to believe it does. Once you do, you have won the battle.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University. She is also the host of ‘A Walk on the WOO Side’ radio show, a motivational expert on the TV show ‘Living Dayton,’ video expert for eHow.com, keynote speaker, and a member of Inspiyr.com’s Expert Network. You can subscribe to her blog, get some life/relationship coaching from her, and check out her books at www.drcarolmorgan.com.

Singing...*Tiiii-iii-ime is on our side.. Yes it is..... Or is it?

One thing is for certain as we all live and breathe, time controls us and it controls the world. Noone has the ability to stop it, noone tells it how long to continue or when to slow down. We can adjust it all we want, set it back, move it forward, just have at it. But at the end of the day no man can control time. Time rules the World and God rules both. He created time so that it waits for no man...He created Time to control and heal our hurt and pain. Time controls improvement and growth. We can be stuck in 1980 and missing out on evolving times, but time has not missed a beat...Tick Tock Tick Tock...Just as Time heals all wounds, Time waits for no man so you better catch up or get left in the past.  ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Be Bold With it!

Here's my bold statement/move:

I am a 40 years old BLACK WOMAN that loves God and wears Bathing Suits/Swimwear/Swimming Suits.... And if you don't like it, are offended by it, or have a problem with it your choice is easy.. Delete me and forever hold your peace..BTW: Yes I can actually swim too.. And there it is.. (Courtesy of RoseGal, JCPenneys, and Macy's)....#BOLDSTATEMENT #GROWNAMERICAN

#Relationship101

Ladies and gentlemen,

You should never stop doing those little things that you did in the beginning to make a person fall in love with you. If it stops then it wasn't genuine from the start. You just don't stop doing things that's genuinely apart of you or your character. If you genuinely like going to the movies, you are not going to stop because you saw a few bad movies are you?

Then why stop doing the little things because "he made me mad" or "she has an attitude" or "they've changed". Just like a mother's love, no matter what you do she keeps on loving and doing the little things, so should it be in love relationships. You still genuinely have sex with each other even though they are mad, got attitude, or have changed... So keep buying flowers, saying I love you, taking them on dates, cooking a meal, wearing lingerie, sending sweet good morning text or whatever the little things you did to make them fall in love in the first place.

If it was genuine you won't even have to remind them what those little things were/are that they do or did because it will occur naturally. 😊 ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Point Blank

True Story. ..

Black Women Wear Swimwear Too

What's wrong with black women in bathing suits?

Is it our own shameful and impure thoughts about the black woman and her body; is it our own insecurities or is it because we have been taught that showing off our bodies shapes and figures are being fast, hot, or promiscuous?

Black women have always been stigmatized and viewed as sex objects prostitutes, or strippers so it's hard to imagine that a black woman in a bathing suit actually really do want to take a swim or embrace her natural beauty.

It is a societal norm for other ethnic groups to wear swimwear with no second glance unless of course the semblance of Beau Derrick graces the eyes. But all shapes forms and fashions of other ethnic groups wear swimwear and we are ok with it. But after a little black girl approaches puberty, swimwear begins to be really frowned upon and discouraged. Why is that? Is the black woman not seen as a respectable model of beauty, have they been dehumanized as something that should be and should stay covered up, are they deemed as less of a dignified woman because they are showing skin? Are is it pure jealousy or lack of discipline on our part for not being able to control our selfish sexual desires that makes a black woman in swimwear "nasty" or "doing too much". Is it their fault because they are naturally beautiful and viewed as sex symbols due to past oppression and voluptuous curvature?  What? Black people love to talk about what's in the Bible. . Well what verse says that people are not to wear swimsuits? Or if you wear swimsuits YA GONNA DIE? Please show me. .

I think society needs to get their mind right and put the innocence back into every day hobbies such as enjoying swimming pools and beaches and put the confidence back in our black women to embrace their beauty and stop feeling inferior or less than par. Black women do not have to wear a tshirt and shorts to swim. That should be a choice, not something they are forced to do based on embarrassment and being judged and ridiculed.  Yes some may need to do it in moderation and tastefully, but don't make any woman, that's black, white, Hispanic, native, Asian or etc. feel ashamed of who they are or their body.

Now ladies, I am not saying to go out there and degrade yourself but I am saying be modest, tasteful, respectful, and embrace you and who you are. You know whether or not you need to wear a 2 piece, 1 piece, or either with a sarong or cover - up or not. You know whether or not to take a dip in spandex, shorts and a tshirt, or speedos. But the point I'm trying to make is that the choice is yours and don't let those sexually charged and judgemental people of this world make you feel shy, nasty, or like you are going to hell because you didn't cover up or simply wore a "nice tasteful" swimsuit. You can't control what people say or think. They will talk about you in your regular clothes too for that matter. So Black Woman be YOU.. Noone does it better. . ..That is All! #AndThereItIs ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Show me

I can't wait for the next Human to get into office as the POTUS... Don't get me wrong, I love President Obama and still support him. But I can't wait to see what miracle worker, that claim they are going to do so much better and make such a "huge difference", is going to do. Since everybody has the answer and have it all figured out I'm going to give them less than 4 years to show me something since they fought against everything Obama presented from day 1. I will not go on a political rant as most people do, but I will make it known if I feel the next person that takes office is not getting the job done. And I don't want to hear what a lousy hand they were given by Pres.Obama because it didn't seem to matter when he was given the same lousy hand. ...We shall see...#showmesomething ..#muchrespecttoyouall #butImgoneSayMyPiece #GrownAmerican #FreedomOfSpeech

Speak Life

Stop giving life and recognition to your troubles. Life and death are in the Power of your own tongue.

When we give our aches, pains,  woes and hardships more attention than they deserve they manifest. They manifest in our thoughts, our moods, our health,  and our attitudes and then began to manifest and control our daily lives that could ultimately last a lifetime.

Give those things their recognition and credit but speak to them in a way that let's them know who is really in control. Many people die from illnesses because they succumb to it and give it control while losing their ability or desire to fight. When you are in distress that's your bodies way of telling you, you are doing something that is out of line with developing healthy solutions. I'm speaking on my on behalf being a chronic migraine sufferer at times. I have learned what things and behaviors causes my migraines. I have not mastered it but I know when I'm out of line.

I give my hardships, shortcomings, disappointments, problems, aches, and pains their moment and say "Ok migraine I feel ya, I know you are there. But I have stuff to do so be through already. " Then I take the necessary steps to address it and if it's not debilitating, I keep it moving.

If I'm hungry..I eat
If I'm stressed. .I de-stress
If I'm not eating healthy. .I change my eating habits
If I feel tired. .I try to exercise if it's only walking
If I feel bloated. .I stop eating those things that I know pack on the lbs.
If I'm moody or upset. .I ask the Lord to change my attitude and I start to think of positive things.

Of course it doesn't always work but I definitely try and try again.
So stop coddling the bad stuff and giving our pains and sickness life.

Inhale the Good. ..
Exhale the Bad. .
Inhale the positive energy. .
Exhale the negative energy. .
Inhale the non-toxic. .
Exhale the toxic. .

The Power to Cut People Off

Great Morning My Friends and Happy Sunday!

I woke up this morning reflecting on last night and how something so minuscule could have went left and been a Huge Mistake. Thank God for the Power of cutting people off. I post this hoping that some of you will understand that power is not in arguing or going for bad, but Power comes with being in control and cutting things off, sometimes even people, in order to move to the next level of character building and reaching your goals and ultimate peaceful place. .

One of my friends (now distant friend) was out of line last night. Instead of being confrontational in public or confrontational at all, I simply made my point in a low-key non-argumentative manner and I decided I can't have her and her negativity around me. My little sister who is a very overprotective young cat, started out being the mediator, but soon began to see the other person as being disrespectful and not caring to listen and bring it down a bit (mind you Tessa is normally a "no talk/ will swing" kinda chick) was about to get in ol' girls business for disrespecting me but I told her it was cool and to let's go. After tugging her several times she obliged without further public attention.

It could have been bigger than what it was but I have an image and reputation to uphold and I can't do public attention and drama at all, as all my friends know. It wasn't a big thing, but as I get older I think more before I react and I have a lot to lose if I let that Alabama Wiley/Moneyham mix come out.

Nothing is worth sacrificing my goals I've worked so hard for, for so long. It could all be over with one strike, one fire, one arrest.... I am becoming a better judge of character and at a certain age there are just things you don't do and letting others rip your dreams right out of your hand or cause you to lose respect from the very people you are trying to teach the right way is so not a good move. I hate to remove people from my circle, but I now know those worthy of being in my circle and those who don't. I guess that comes with age. However, I'm sure there will be more along the way that will fall by the way side. I can't be getting in mess and drama under my code of ethics to be a doctor or get arrested and still maintain my job. Somethings are not worth it. If it has something to do with harming my family I might go for broke, especially after losing my mother, but pettiness doesn't move me anymore. So I have to be careful who I hang around and what I do and choose my battles wisely, but Tessa feels the need to take up for me and I can't have her in trouble because she has a lot to lose as well, (even though I now understand why she always feels the need to take up for me "Her MUCH OLDER BIG SISTER" lol) So to squash it all I've learned to cut people off even some of my closest friends that are messy and I keep it moving. Heartless no... But perhaps putting my best interest at heart. .. But I wish them no hurt, harm, or danger but I know we can't Co - exist and I keep my cool for too much longer.

Smokey told me not to let my degrees or status ever change me but know how to act and when to act. Although I've learned how to contain myself and think before acting, I'm still Mikey Wiley from Brantley underneath it all.  #byeFelicia because #datshItzAmanda

The Forest

The Forest

When walking along in the forest there will be many distractions along the way. Of course there will be beautiful greenery, scenery, and luscious trees shading the way and shadowing the path but did you know those very trees can be distractions? It's those trees (family, friends, enemies) in the forest that we actually grow dependent on and rely on for visuals, protection, rest stops, points of reference, and guidance. But if you rest too long, lose your way, or forget your focus and where you are going, are those trees really a benefit or a hindrance?

All trees do not bare good fruit and it is those trees that provide more "shade" than is needed along your journey. Some trees have a foundation filled with wild vines and roots that may entangle you and have your mind all wrapped up in things that take you off your beaten path. You have those bare and broken trees that have no leaves to help shade you, but you spend countless hours trying to rescue, feed, and water those trees that are slowly dying and taking your light and energy with them. You have those trees in the forest that as soon as the wind blows and the storm comes they blow over, break, dry up, and wither away. You see all of this can make you forget the reason you chose this forest and it's path and deter you from making it out of the forest and into your destiny.

Moral of the story: Don't let the trees in the forest distract you. Pick your shaded path and if that path takes you off of your road to success maybe you should consider the desert next time therfore your path is clear. It may be a long hot dusty lonely road but in the end your path will be clear and you will have peace, focus, and will reach your divine destination that's filled with real and genuinely fruitful trees that are rooted, firmly grounded and strong, that God intended to surround you for your good. Struggle produces results, especially when you learn that there's more paths and roads to success than through the scenic route of "The Forest". ~Dr. Rock Ramsey ~

Baller or Nah

Social Media Ballers or Nah:

Dear Ballers,

If you have highs and lows multiple times within a month but you only appear on social media during the highs. . You are really not balling or portraying your real life situation. Ballers do fall sometimes but not every other week. Real ballers have hustled and are able to maintain their baller status and if threatened to lose their status they have a constant hustle game that will ensure a constant gain and constant back up plan to maintain their "baller" status.

Quick come ups and even faster come downs do not constitute you being a baller. Hustling one minute and borrowing the next do not warrant baller status. Eating filet mignon and drinking Cristal on Friday and Saturday and looking for the nearest relative that hooked up Sunday dinner on Sunday and a Ramen noodle fix on Monday is NOT a "Ballers Mentality" or way of living. That's just a clear indicator that instead of balling you should be working and instead of turning up you should be saving up. Buy some stock, invest, tithe, get a bank account, buy a house, a car, get a bill in your name, clean your credit, start a business, for God's sakes own something before you ball til you fall....Geesh!

Know what it takes to be called a BALLER before you take on the name or mistake your situation as being worthy of a Baller's Status. . A ball is nothing without a batter, a thrower, a catcher, or a shooter.. Get your game tight my friend. You can't be or even qualify to be a Baller without all the baller requirements...That is All....AndThereItIs..#HeyBatterBatterSwing ..#datshItzAmanda

Protect Your Children

Just my Opinion: I think that a parent's main responsibilities are to take care of and protect their child. I'm childless but for the life of me I cannot see how a parent's every waking or even unconscious moment is not geared toward the well-being of their child, especially those that can't defend or look out for themselves rendering themselves as dependent on their mommy and daddy.

I have a pooch baby and I'm very over - protective and have even yelled at my Smokey for almost dropping her, thinking about sniping a cat for, and almost lost a friend for opening the door and letting her out. I think a kid would be even worse for me.

Brief interruption: Yeah I yelled at Smokey but I snapped back to reality and realized who i was talking to when he popped my forehead and asked "Who you think you talking to?" At the time I was 38 and still got smacked. .

Back to my story... People need to stop harming their kids and start protecting them, even if it means giving their own life as Jesus gave His for His children...

Face Tightening Saturday:

I never post racially motivated posts but this is bothering me and I'm speaking from personal experience and what I know. Yeah yeah I know some of you might get mad or even delete me and yadayadayada and I'm cool with that but some things need to be said and heard for character building.

Black folks will never get ahead until they learn how to handle their business, mind their own business, and make things such as stop lying, stop being jealous, stop being lazy, stop trying to get over, stop backstabbing and using people, stop blaming others for their failures, stop blaming and living in the past, stop looking for handouts, and stop living above their means, their business.

Disclaimer: This may apply to several other ethnic groups but I'm talking about my own. Deal with it or delete me are your choices....And there it is.. I am a Grown Black American and I approved this message.