You can get passed this!

13 Things to Remember When Life Gets Rough

THE MIND UNLEASHED

on 26 July, 2014 at 19:32

We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are 13 things to remember when life gets rough:

1. What is, is. Buddha’s famous saying tells us: “It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering.” Think about that for a minute. It means that our suffering only occurs when we resist how things are. If you can change something, then take action! Change it! But if you can’t change it, then you have two choices: (1) either accept it and let go of the negativity, or (2) make yourself miserable by obsessing over it.

2. It’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem. Many times, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really dependent on perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it’s something you can learn from, then suddenly, it’s not a problem anymore.

3. If you want things to change, you need to start with changing yourself. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Don’t you know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful? And isn’t that largely because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is. We like to think that changing our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards—we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will change.

4. There is no such thing as failure—only learning opportunities. You should just wipe the word “failure” right out of your vocabulary. All great people who have ever achieved anything have “failed” over and over. In fact, I think it was Thomas Edison who said something like, “I did not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t work.” Take your so-called “failures” and learn something from them. Learn how to do it better next time.

5. If you don’t get something you want, it just means something better is coming. That’s hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Usually, when you look back at your life, you will be able to see why it was actually a good thing that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you didn’t get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to.

6. Appreciate the present moment. This moment will never come again. And there is always something precious about every moment. So don’t let it pass you by! Soon it will just be a memory. Even moments that don’t seem happy can be looked upon as something that you might miss someday. As the country song by Trace Adkins says, “You’re gonna miss this…you’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast….you may not know this now, but you’re gonna miss this…”

7. Let go of desire. Most people live with “attached mind.” What this means is that they attach themselves to a desire, and when they don’t get it, their emotions plummet into negativity. Instead, try to practice “detached mind.” That means that when you want something, you will still be happy whether you get it or not. Your emotions remain happy or neutral.

8. Understand and be grateful for your fears. Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fears can also make you feel victorious. For example, when I was in college, I feared public speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So I find it humorous now that not only do I speak in front of a group every day by being a college professor, I also teach public speaking! Overcoming fears just takes practice. Fear is really just an illusion. It’s optional.

9. Allow yourself to experience joy. Believe it or not, I know way too many people who don’t allow themselves to have fun. And they don’t even know how to be happy. Some people are actually addicted to their problems and the chaos in them so much that they wouldn’t even know who they are without them. So try to allow yourself to be happy! Even if it’s just for a small moment, it’s important to focus on joy, not your hardships.

10. Don’t compare yourself to other people. But if you do compare yourself, compare yourself with people who have it worse than you. Unemployed? Be grateful that you live in a country that gives unemployment compensation, because most people in the world live on less that $750 a year. So you don’t look like Angelina Jolie? Well, I bet there are more people who don’t than do. And you are probably way better looking than than you think. Focus on that.

11. You are not a victim. You need to get out of your own way. You are only a “victim” of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one “does” something to you. You are the creator of your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can get out of your hard times. You just need to start with changing your thoughts and actions. Abandon your victim mentality and become victorious. From victim to VICTOR!

12. Things can—and do—change. “And this too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think that there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will! Nothing is permanent except death. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They won’t. But you do need to take some sort of action for things to change. It won’t magically happen all on its own.

13. Anything is possible. Miracles happen every day. Really—they do. I wish I had enough space to write about all the miraculous things that have happened to people I know—from healing stage 4 cancer naturally to having their soul mate appear out of nowhere. Trust me: it happens all the time. You just need to believe it does. Once you do, you have won the battle.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University. She is also the host of ‘A Walk on the WOO Side’ radio show, a motivational expert on the TV show ‘Living Dayton,’ video expert for eHow.com, keynote speaker, and a member of Inspiyr.com’s Expert Network. You can subscribe to her blog, get some life/relationship coaching from her, and check out her books at www.drcarolmorgan.com.

Singing...*Tiiii-iii-ime is on our side.. Yes it is..... Or is it?

One thing is for certain as we all live and breathe, time controls us and it controls the world. Noone has the ability to stop it, noone tells it how long to continue or when to slow down. We can adjust it all we want, set it back, move it forward, just have at it. But at the end of the day no man can control time. Time rules the World and God rules both. He created time so that it waits for no man...He created Time to control and heal our hurt and pain. Time controls improvement and growth. We can be stuck in 1980 and missing out on evolving times, but time has not missed a beat...Tick Tock Tick Tock...Just as Time heals all wounds, Time waits for no man so you better catch up or get left in the past.  ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Be Bold With it!

Here's my bold statement/move:

I am a 40 years old BLACK WOMAN that loves God and wears Bathing Suits/Swimwear/Swimming Suits.... And if you don't like it, are offended by it, or have a problem with it your choice is easy.. Delete me and forever hold your peace..BTW: Yes I can actually swim too.. And there it is.. (Courtesy of RoseGal, JCPenneys, and Macy's)....#BOLDSTATEMENT #GROWNAMERICAN

#Relationship101

Ladies and gentlemen,

You should never stop doing those little things that you did in the beginning to make a person fall in love with you. If it stops then it wasn't genuine from the start. You just don't stop doing things that's genuinely apart of you or your character. If you genuinely like going to the movies, you are not going to stop because you saw a few bad movies are you?

Then why stop doing the little things because "he made me mad" or "she has an attitude" or "they've changed". Just like a mother's love, no matter what you do she keeps on loving and doing the little things, so should it be in love relationships. You still genuinely have sex with each other even though they are mad, got attitude, or have changed... So keep buying flowers, saying I love you, taking them on dates, cooking a meal, wearing lingerie, sending sweet good morning text or whatever the little things you did to make them fall in love in the first place.

If it was genuine you won't even have to remind them what those little things were/are that they do or did because it will occur naturally. 😊 ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Point Blank

True Story. ..

Black Women Wear Swimwear Too

What's wrong with black women in bathing suits?

Is it our own shameful and impure thoughts about the black woman and her body; is it our own insecurities or is it because we have been taught that showing off our bodies shapes and figures are being fast, hot, or promiscuous?

Black women have always been stigmatized and viewed as sex objects prostitutes, or strippers so it's hard to imagine that a black woman in a bathing suit actually really do want to take a swim or embrace her natural beauty.

It is a societal norm for other ethnic groups to wear swimwear with no second glance unless of course the semblance of Beau Derrick graces the eyes. But all shapes forms and fashions of other ethnic groups wear swimwear and we are ok with it. But after a little black girl approaches puberty, swimwear begins to be really frowned upon and discouraged. Why is that? Is the black woman not seen as a respectable model of beauty, have they been dehumanized as something that should be and should stay covered up, are they deemed as less of a dignified woman because they are showing skin? Are is it pure jealousy or lack of discipline on our part for not being able to control our selfish sexual desires that makes a black woman in swimwear "nasty" or "doing too much". Is it their fault because they are naturally beautiful and viewed as sex symbols due to past oppression and voluptuous curvature?  What? Black people love to talk about what's in the Bible. . Well what verse says that people are not to wear swimsuits? Or if you wear swimsuits YA GONNA DIE? Please show me. .

I think society needs to get their mind right and put the innocence back into every day hobbies such as enjoying swimming pools and beaches and put the confidence back in our black women to embrace their beauty and stop feeling inferior or less than par. Black women do not have to wear a tshirt and shorts to swim. That should be a choice, not something they are forced to do based on embarrassment and being judged and ridiculed.  Yes some may need to do it in moderation and tastefully, but don't make any woman, that's black, white, Hispanic, native, Asian or etc. feel ashamed of who they are or their body.

Now ladies, I am not saying to go out there and degrade yourself but I am saying be modest, tasteful, respectful, and embrace you and who you are. You know whether or not you need to wear a 2 piece, 1 piece, or either with a sarong or cover - up or not. You know whether or not to take a dip in spandex, shorts and a tshirt, or speedos. But the point I'm trying to make is that the choice is yours and don't let those sexually charged and judgemental people of this world make you feel shy, nasty, or like you are going to hell because you didn't cover up or simply wore a "nice tasteful" swimsuit. You can't control what people say or think. They will talk about you in your regular clothes too for that matter. So Black Woman be YOU.. Noone does it better. . ..That is All! #AndThereItIs ~Dr. Rock Ramsey~

Show me

I can't wait for the next Human to get into office as the POTUS... Don't get me wrong, I love President Obama and still support him. But I can't wait to see what miracle worker, that claim they are going to do so much better and make such a "huge difference", is going to do. Since everybody has the answer and have it all figured out I'm going to give them less than 4 years to show me something since they fought against everything Obama presented from day 1. I will not go on a political rant as most people do, but I will make it known if I feel the next person that takes office is not getting the job done. And I don't want to hear what a lousy hand they were given by Pres.Obama because it didn't seem to matter when he was given the same lousy hand. ...We shall see...#showmesomething ..#muchrespecttoyouall #butImgoneSayMyPiece #GrownAmerican #FreedomOfSpeech