Experiencing The Unknown

"When you have everything like good health, a happy family life,  a good relationship with God, money and wealth, and great success, and it still doesn't take away the complacent feeling of loneliness, sadness, boredom, and monotony on the inside and there's nothing else to achieve, no more goals, or things to look forward to, what's next? What's wrong with finding out if there is peace and joy and maybe an adventure on the other side of life? Is that so bad that a person wants to try their last resort in hopes that the next life or other side is better? The only way to know the unknown is to experience it." ~An Anonymous Patient~

You talk too much

What I've learned:

Some people talk so much that they end up talking themselves out of a good thing. Sometimes we need to get somewhere and get quiet. Everything does not warrant a response or feedback.

Moral of the story: Never miss a great opportunity to shut the h*** up and be quiet. #silenceISgolden

Surface Joy

What I've learned:

"That Surface Joy"

Many of us suffer from "Surface Joy" aka "That SJ" as I like to call it. And if I had to define the term diagnosticly, it would be "that joy and happiness that you portray outwardly or on the surface that doesn't actually exist within or on the inside". But because it is so much easier to lie than tell the truth, we sometimes allow Surface Joy to stand in for our shattered and disturbed insides. Because people don't, or won't understand the hurt, heartache, disappointment, and sadness we experience within and because those emotions don't have a face and if they did it would probably be ugly, it's much easier to keep a pretty face and portray a happy lifestyle and keep up that Surface Joy appearance. But ask yourself, ultimately is that the true answer and cure that will give light to the dark and broken areas on the inside??? Hmmmm.. My guess is that in the end the ugly emotions will take over and win the battle because we didn't have enough courage to ask for help or call on other sources to help us fight those ugly demons.

See much of depression (which I rather call "the blues" or "being in a funk") is a mental thing of us thinking the worst of a situation and not being able to change those distorted thoughts. And because the situation is bad, seems to never improve, or it seems to continue to get worse, we tell ourselves that there is no way out. We begin to fight with our own thoughts and beliefs and become trapped in our thoughts, more so than we try to fight to address the issues that are plaguing us, or better yet, we are too mentally drained to even try to find possible solutions.

It doesn't matter how many coping skills we acquire or have if we are too caught up in our funk to put them into motion. It is at that moment we need to be able to love ourselves enough to reach out to others for strength and help. There have been many times that I felt so down, (YES ME, I'm not exempt) that I've told my sisters that I didn't even want to pray anymore because I felt God was not listening and if He was, He either does not care or He's intentionally punishing me. But because I reached out, not expecting them to take my hurt and disappointment away, but just to get it up and out and "off my chest", it opened the door and lines of communication for them to say, "Well if you are tired of praying, I'll stand in the gap and pray for you." It also opened the doors and lines of communication for them to checked on me daily, encourage me often, and it helped foster an even stronger bond between us and a needed sense of someone caring.

I too have, at times, pretended to be ok when I wasn't, and felt I had to always bury my true feelings or deal with them myself. There are times I still deal with pressures, hurts, and life struggles, but I've learned to let things have its moment, but then it's time to shake it off and get up! It's not that easy for some and I get that my blues may not be like yours, but when our inner strength starts to fail us, our self-awareness has to, and should, kick in telling us to get help or find a family member or friend. We talk ourselves out of reaching out to others for fear of bothering people, but if it will save your life, BOTHER ME! That's what I'm here for. We all go through our moments, but the best humbling pie, is to be able to hear and help someone else while you're going through it. A very rewarding thing😊

Don't suffer alone. Turn that Surface Joy into Genuine Joy from within. Happy Sunday My Friends! ~Dr. Marilyn Wiley~ #LoveYouSomeYouAndLive #That'llPreach #AndThereItIs #DrRockRamseyInTheBuilding

He Gives Us Tools

From the desk of Dr. Marilyn Wiley, aka Dr. Rock Ramsey:

#ItsSunday #That'llPreachRightThereKindOfMoment

My People,

Just as we go to the Lord In Prayer, He certainly hears us and answers us.  However, most of the time it's not via miracles that He answers us. (Yes, I do believe in miracles, I'm not saying that I don't, buuutt.....)  He hears and acknowledges us by providing us tools and instructions to help overcome our situations. Although He will give us the tools, He will also leave it up to us to use those tools. We must use those God-given tools, in Faith accordingly, to put our plans and prayers in motion. Faith without works is Dead (James 2:14-26). Faith is the substance of those things HOPED for.

God knows how much we want our prayers answered based upon the level of effort we put into our prayers, our faith, and our belief in Him answering. However, but he also answers us by the level of effort we put into helping ourselves. We are such a lazy and entitled breed of people that we feel a "quick come up" is or should be the answer. We live for immediate gratification. Therefore, we fail to hear God or abide by the work ethics given and needed to get the "quick come up". Just spoiled I guess (my $.02)

But anyway, while we are waiting to see the tangible,  He's already answered us in an intangible way. We must open up and receive it at some point and stop looking for things to miraculously fall into our laps. We have to be open for understanding, recognizing,  and knowing that He fully equips us for the battle, but we need to get quiet and look for the obvious. He gives us answers but many times they are overlooked. We are so caught up that we don't even recognize the help when He sends it.

With all thy getting, He instructs us to get knowledge and understanding. "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." Proverbs 4:7 King James Version (KJV) Meaning to understand that He will supply and provide what we need, when we need it.

I said all of this to say, God uses people to counsel others by using their voice to relay His message and help those in distress. People, especially my AfAm people, do not believe or engage in counseling and therapy at times because they believe in taking everything to God In Prayer.  But I'm a firm believer that He answers some of those prayers by giving us the tools and means to seek help during our times of need. However, it's up to us to tap into it, My Friends......#AndThereItIs

Manifested

Sometimes what goes on in your life, goes on inside your body.

Dealing with hurt, sadness, and depression manifest as physical pain, weight loss, or weight gain.

Dealing with confusion, frustration, and worry manifest as anxiety and being mentally off balanced and upset bowels.

Positive vibes and attitudes radiates positive energy and blood flow and increase metabolism.

Healthy eating and exercise foster a healthy mind and body.

And the list goes on

Refinery

My struggles and challenges are God's way of refining me for that which is yet to come.. which is "Greater!". Although I'm being sifted like wheat and being refined like coal, the refinement is a reminder that our latter days will be greater than our former days... It is His will that we prosper and be of good health. Therefore, I pray that His will be done among all of us...Hang on in there. God is faithful to His word..#TrustingTheProcess #aDiamondInTheFire

WELCOME TO ROCK BOTTOM revised

Welcome to Rock Bottom

I know a lot of people that live very charmed lives, where nothing ever seems to go wrong for them. There was a time when I envied those people. I don’t anymore. They never get to experience the storms of life, never had to face their fears. These storms make us better. They’re our chance for a do over. It’s our reset button, where everything is stripped from us and we are completely gutted. I know because it has happened to me. In an instant everything was gone – I had nothing and no one and I was paralyzed with fear.

However, “the beauty of rock bottom is that it’s a place of reflection, of where you can actually hear what your spirit has been trying to tell you, but you were too preoccupied with your life to listen. There is nowhere to go at rock bottom but up and it’s here where you create the path out. It’s here, when we get to map out the plan for the life we should have been living all along. It's here where we finally notice our wings and start to fly.  It’s here, where we get to start again.”

Rock bottom is a magical place and if you’re lucky, you’ll have a chance to visit.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s terrifying, but the most incredible things happen and you won’t be the same person coming out that you were going in. Rock Bottom is where you can clearly hear from God and reconnect to Him and your Faith.

Here’s a list of what happens at Rock Bottom:

You are forced to face everything that frightens you about yourself and your life and you get to figure out how to overcome it. You are forced to look inward and to discover who you are. When you have lived your whole life for other people and then suddenly find yourself with no one else to focus on, you learn for the first time how to be your own friend, what you like, what you want and what you need. You find your true self.  It's where you finally stop and reconnect to your spirit and start becoming your authentic self. You stop living under someone else’s thumb and find out what it’s like to be in charge of your own life. You find your power and that which is indestructible in you. It’s where you stop being an ordinary person and become the warrior. You get to reprogram your mind and learn all that you should have been taught as a child. You learn how to depend on yourself, because there is no one else to take care of you and you get a taste of how sweet autonomy is. You learn how to deal with your emotions and your grief. You heal the wounded child inside. You learn how to create and maintain your own stability.

You learn how to cut people, and things that do not have your back or best interest at heart, off. Those people that you stuck your neck out for and went above and beyond for that took you for granted suddenly appears to you as the selfish and heartless people that they really are. You finally are free to clearly see the people that genuinely cares for you. It's called Freedom. You start to look ahead and plan your future and goals.You choose who you let into your inner circle. You start again.

“There is a profound stillness at rock bottom. It’s very quiet and there is no one around to distract you. It’s a place where you are completely alone with nothing but your thoughts for companionship.”

Rock Bottom is the ending and the beginning of the old life and the new. At Rock Bottom all of the choices are yours. It’s your opportunity to start over and to get it right. Resist the urge to give up on life, or to lose faith. It’s easy to do, I know. Rock Bottom is not for the faint of heart. If you get to go there it’s because you are strong enough to bear it and because the Universe has better things in store for you.

I didn’t see it then, but what had happened to me, I’m convinced, was divine intervention. I was existing in a loveless relationship, in an unfulfilling job, living an inauthentic life, which I was never willingly going to leave and so the Universe did what a loving Universe does –  it shoved me out of my uncomfortable comfort zone and it put me through a divine detox.

So if you are at Rock Bottom or have been there, take the time to reflect and see what has truly happened from the proper perspective. Tell yourself that "this was a divine cleanse, meant to make me healthier, meant to clear out all the baggage and cobwebs that cluttered my mind and put me on the right path. Afterwards I will notice that I have new eyes to see with, a new appreciation for what really matters and I will have found me– the greatest gift of all."

#Rock Bottom #TakingTheGoodFromThePerceivedBad #MyTestimonyInAnutshell #DeepRead

Excerpts taken from and all credits given to Esteemology's "The Majesty of Rock Bottom: The Universe’s Ultimate Cleanse"